D Day

This Friday will be my due date. As the day more rapidly approaches, I find myself stuck in this position where I am filled with regret, sadness, literally every emotion possible, I feel it. I've cried myself to sleep every night for the past week and a half. My boyfriend is across the country once again and I feel incredibly alone. I feel worthless. The closer it gets the harder it is to mask all of my emotions. I just want to walk around in sweats cryin my eyes out. But that isn't an option and I know that. The hard part is I wish I could pregnant again and have my baby. I wish I could take back the fact that I got an abortion. My boyfriend thinks that maybe getting through this week will be the hardest. For me getting through every day is hard right now. I have reached another pit of depression, but I feel like I have no right to wallow or grieve because it was my choice. I'm just so stuck and emotional. I don't know how to even get through this week. It is just so hard to deal with all the stress an emotions, especially when the one real comfort for me is a few thousand miles away.
BB1006 BB1006
18-21, F
Jan 14, 2013