I Messed Up.

A while back I posted the story about my abortion but in the last weeks theres been stuff to add. About 4 months ago I found out I was pregnant and was certain it was this guy named Austins child because he accidentally finished and it just made since that he wouldve been the one to get e pregnant so through out the whole time I was pregnant he was telling me he ddnt want it and to get rid of it. He had gotten arrested and didnt seem like he would be a good dad so I got an abortion because of all of that and because I wouldnt have any finical support or family support. I would be kicked out. When I was getting my abortion I saw the ultra sound and almost decided to keep it the only thing that kept me from not doing it was the fear of the child having that father and being alone without giving my baby a good family with a mom and a dad. When i was there they had given me ativan which apparently wasn't making me think straight, when they told me how far along I was I tried to count back ten weeks from the date ( I was ten weeks along) and looked and said OK its for sure Austins and went through with it. Well last week I found some of my paper work from the abortion and though hmm I wander when I actually got pregnant I couldn't back 10 weeks from my abortion and I must of counted wrong the day of because of the ativan because I hadnt had sex with Austin at that point in fact it wouldve been a couple weeks till I slept with him. I had slept with this guy named Jason right around the time I got pregnant. So when I realized this I started freaking out,Jason had his life together, a car, a job. And when I was pregnant talking to him and I didnt know it was his he said if he got a girl pregnant hed keep it ...well it made me feel awful to had got rid of his child with not realizing it I felt so bad I called him to tell him what I had just realized but I still feel awful...I don't believe I would've gotten rid of it had I known...and it eats me up inside I thought I was over all the abortion stuff but after this it hurts even more I feel I have made a mistake and I have no way to take it back...I feel so empty inside and kind of hate myself...
kaylarae65 kaylarae65
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 15, 2013

Really? I thought ten weeks ment ten weeks since I had convieved.

if you were 10 weeks pregnant that means 10 weeks since you had your last period. You would have conceived the baby during ovulation which is normally week 2. so it sounds like Austin was the father. The doctors should have explained this to you.