Few Days Ago

i had my abortion a few days ago, it was awful, the people were so nice though, it was painful the sickness before hand the diarrhea from the pills they gave me the excruciating cramps, they took me down to a bed an hour early to rest because i wasnt coping well, i lay shivering in the gown crying throwing up and wishing the pain away while the radio played away in the background, 30 minutes later i felt hollow and weak and slipped into a sleep, then a woman sat me down and took me to the surgery, there were 4 maybe 5 people, she told me where to lie and how to lie, a woman kept telling me she was going to take care of me, a man put an oxygen mask on me and told me to breathe in, another doctor came over and began to flick the back of my hand to insert the needle for the anasthetic into my hand...i lay there so petrified so self conscious...then i was being woken up by a nurse and given a drink, i was taken to the bathroom and then to get dressed, they called my mum and she came with me to have a drink of tea and a few biscuits, then a woman sat and spoke to me and gave me some antibiotics to fight off infection and i waited for ages for my uncle to come and get me and my mum, the snow was so awful but beautiful too, i cried in the bathroom before the surgery, i was in so much pain and hated myself for putting myself through this, i felt so happy and relaxed drinking my tea waiting for my uncle, definitely the drugs influence aha, my boyfriend drove over in the harsh snow and spent the weekend with me looking after me, my 2 friends who i refer to as my best friends but dont see them that way anymore had been told i was simply going to the hospital for some tests, they didnt text all weekend to see how i was or on the day, my friend who does know and my cousin and my boyfriend text me all day making sure i was fine, the pain comes and goes it can be horrible then almost non existent, it was a horrible scary day but i made it. i know this post isnt to do with rape but people asked me to keep them updated. i had such a great moment during the drug high where i thought about my rape and thought so great about "its over im so free" i felt like maybe i could do anything. im going to get that back. i have to
gunsnrose gunsnrose
18-21, F
Jan 20, 2013