The Little Girl

Yes, I have had an abortion.

In fact, I have had two.

I posted up the story some time ago.

Now I wanted to share a little memory, from my second one.

It started in the waiting room. I was there with one of my best friends, a guy who has seen me at my worst, and helped me get back on my feet. Sitting there holding onto him, tears on the verge of leaking down my face, I noticed a girl across the waiting room.

She seemed younger than myself. I was 19 at the time. She was there with an older woman, whom I quickly discerned to be her mother. The girl was crying freely, clutching her mother, hiding her face from the rest of the women in the room. And there were many of us there at the clinic. Of all ages, of all backgrounds. This scene of mother and daughter struck me though. Her mother looked terrified, sick, and yet, as though she were trying so hard to keep it together for her girl.

After the procedure, you wake up on a hospital bed in a room with 3 or 4 other girls. They give you snacks and drinks while the anesthesia wears off. Everyone is so nice to you, so patient and caring. Eventually you are coherent enough and they allow you to get up, go to the bathroom, and re-dress yourself.

I heard her right away. The girl from the waiting room was in here with me. The curtains prevented me from seeing her. But I could hear her as she came awake, and began crying. I listened as she asked for her mother, and the nurses told her soon, just a little while so we can make sure you're able to walk safely.

I was allowed to get up sooner than she was. I changed into my clothes, walked out of the bathroom, and approached her hospital bed. She looked confused, staring up at me. I reached out, took her hands, and simply told her, it will be okay. It will be hard at first, but you'll get through it, I promise. And I walked away. The nurse who was attending to me seemed utterly shocked, but simply smiled and nodded at me.

As I was leaving, I noticed her mother, pacing the waiting room. My friend stood when he saw me, and got very confused as I approached the pacing woman. I told her, you're daughter is awake and the first thing she asked for was to see you. I just want to thank you for being there for her. She is going to need you so much right now. Not everyone has the support of their parents, so I wanted to thank you for that, for her sake.

The mother was speechless.

So was I, for that matter. Here I am, having just gone through the same thing, feeling lost and tired and confused and alone. But in that moment, I wanted to let that girl know that she wasn't alone.

I don't know what her name was. But I often see her face, and wonder how she and her mom are doing.

You are not alone.
InMemoryOfSanity InMemoryOfSanity
2 Responses Jan 22, 2013

I wish I was as brave as you. I was too self absorbed when I had mine to speak to anyone other then the nurses and my fiancé. Good for you for taking a difficult situation and taking a chance to do the right thing.

I guess it was because it was my second one. I knew how she felt, I knew how alone and scared and guilt-ridden she most likely was. And in that situation, I thought maybe it would have helped me. I don't think of it as brave, I think it is something everyone going through this needs to be reminded of, especially since it is such a sensitive subject, so it is difficult to bring up to almost anyone. That isolation of the experience makes it lonelier and harder to get through.

Thank you for reading <3

I'm literally crying right now after reading this. I'm so scared to have another abortion, I feel so alone. No one understands.

Thank you for posting your story.