Torn! Married And Cant Decide

I don't know you and I have no right to judge you or anyone.
But I want you to know that I signed in tonight to try and find some consolation about an abortion I had almost a year ago. I am sitting here, still sobbing, still feeling really broken.
If I could take my abortion back- I would. No question.
I would give up anything and everything just to have held that child.
Only you know what is truly best for you. It's your choice to make.
But *I* found, for me, the abortion solved nothing. It fixed nothing. It made everything so much worse. It has changed my sense of who I am on a very fundamental level.
I know I will never really be the same person that I was before. Almost a year later, I'm still signing in at night when I can't stop crying and I feel helpless and broken.
I'm not saying this is what it would be for you. Only that this is how it has been for me.
Regardless of what you decide to do, you're not alone.
If you ever want to talk about anything just message me.
No judgements. No preaching. Anytime. Anything.

Thank you for all the response s :) I think having kids does make the idea harder. And I know my situation is not as bad as others but right now we pretty much live paycheck to paycheck and the hospital bills, space, food worries me. I appreciate being able to discuss my feelings and the kind responses in return.

I'm sorry you having a hard time, You can talk to me if you need any help. I really don't know what to tell you. Can you really go through an abortion after knowing what motherhood is

I can share with you that I was a single mom raising my kids the entire time by myself with no child support and my son with a disability. "Every" time I turned to God and really walked with Him, He made things come together for us in perfect timing. We never had more than we needed but we never did not have all that we needed. Then I got lazy at first and then slowly slipped away and pulled away from God. I stopped going to church, I stopped reading the Bible, and I stopped praying to God, other than the lazy once in a great while prayer, "God help me."

Before I knew it I had gotten pregnant. I was overwhelmed and chose to terminate my pregnancy. I made this HUGE DECISION without even praying over it. It just seemed like such an impossible situation to raise a third child by myself and I was tired.

Regrettably I had an abortion and I struggled with life and everything that goes with it for a couple of years, then I turned back to Christ and got on my knees praying and asking for emergency help. God loves these prayers. He really does because He knows that WE KNOW that WE NEED Him. And when we pray these prayers on our knees, they must be louder because He always answers them.

This is when my life changed and got good again. I met my current husband and have a beautiful 11 yr old step daughter. My two children are grown, out of the house and I am a stay home step mom....

.... I could have been a stay home mom too. My daughter would be 10 right now.

I jumped off of the boat before it sunk and I kind of drowned. Guess what, the boat never sunk, it was going in the wrong direction headed toward the rocks, but God majestically turned my boat around and it never crashed or sank, but my baby is dead. This is reality.

I truly hope I don't get attacked by others for speaking about God. This is my life, my story, and my advice - Listen to who you KNOW is right. Don't listen to who YOU WANT to be right.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," Says the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

If you want to talk in private, I'd love to share more. There is help out there and you can do this. You can raise your third child and be sooo thankful that you made that decision.

If you are wanting to hear that it's okay to have an abortion from other's who have, you will hear that too and you can do with that as you please. God bless.

Lots of mommies have three :) you'll do great! Sounds like a beautiful family, plus one more beautiful face!

Keep the baby. Love it. It was created out of your love with your husband. You will find a way to make things work! Get a mini van. That's what I drive. I love it. What's a couple more years with diapers? It will tear you up inside if you abort. Your marriage will never be the same. Look into your children's eyes. He or she may have those same eyes. How can you not welcome this child into your life? Think of all the love, hugs, and kisses you would miss. Think long and hard. Once it's done it can't be undone.