By: An EP User
Written on February 15th, 2013
I had an abortion in the summer of 2011 and still to this day, it is my biggest regret. The hardest thing is knowing that my baby would have been one next month. I was 18 and seriously in love with my then boyfriend, so when I found out I was pregnant I was over the moon, he on the other hand was not. He told me he would support me no matter what though, so I decided I wanted to keep it. We went house viewing, discussed baby names, all sorts. I was so happy and could not wait. Then he started acting weird, his family had began to brain wash him and then I wake up to a TEXT saying he can't do it and I didnt hear off him again. I called, text, facebooked him but nothing. I became scared and felt I could not do it on my own. My mum said that if I kept it I would have to live somewhere on my own and that thought terrified me. I could not do it alone. So after a lot of thinking, I decided to have an abortion. I was a wreck the day of it, constantly crying. About a two weeks after I could not accept the guilt and began drinking. I went out partying constantly to try and forget the pain. You could say I went a bit mental. I pulled myself through and tried to focus on other things, but it never worked. Its been a year and a half and im still not over it, I get upset and jealous when i see babies, all I want is to have that chance again and change my decision. I know I would be an amazing mum. I just dont know how to get fill this hole in my life or move on from what happened. Any one else still suffering after a long time after? I just need to know how to accept it and move on. I cant take the guilt and hurt any longer.