I found out I was pregnant the day after Christmas. My boyfriend said he would support me no matter what I decided. When I told him I wanted to keep the baby, he went on for 2 hours about how we weren't ready. He promised that one day we would have children at a more "appropriate" time. (I'm 18, he's 19). On January 2,2013 I got an abortion. No one in my family knows, and none of our friends know. I'm not quite sure I've forgiven him for making me change my mind even though I said that I have. Ultimately I understand it was my decision, an I have to live with the consequences but I'm so scared. March 4th is 8 weeks and 5 days since the abortion, which is how far along i was. I've already had many suicidal thoughts- why should I live when my baby didn't? It's not fair. I'm so scared and alone. My family wouldn't accept me if I told them, I have no one to talk to. I want to be able to pray, I want to have faith that God will help me through it. But I'm not religious, and if I were to try I'm afraid that He'll just laugh at me because I've sinned. I just need some hope that I did the right thing. I can't live with myself otherwise.