I Need Help Asap!!

If you seriously want someone to talk to to help you walk thru a decision...please reach out to me. You can read my 2 posts below. I get you. I identify with you. Email me if you'd Iike to ask me anything, or we can exchange numbers and I can call you and we can talk all about your feelings and worries. I've never opened up like this before with my story but something about your situation is telling me to reach out to you. I'd be happy to be here for you as a true friend through it all. No condemnation.
My email is "mymeetup at hot mail dot com". In Christ, Andrea

I also wanted to say don't worry about whether you can stand the sound of a crying or whining kids, you won't believe how much you can love your own child, and when it's your own child doing those things, yes, it's annoying or stressful at times but a mother's love changes how you feel about that.
I assure you. In your heart, you will adore the sound of your baby's voice and will be so thankful and can't imagine how you even thought of aborting. No matter how hard...or what people think or say r do over your unplanned pregnancy, you will NOT ever regret a decision for life, but you will in time, seriously regret a decision for the other.

In Christ....

Hi there.

I was in your position about exactly 20 years ago. I was alone, had very little money, could barely survive on my own, let alone with a baby. I had become pregnant by date rape and then - few weeks later i met someone and started a serious relationship head over heals. soon after i realized i was pregnant and shared it with him. He then pressured me into it and i wanted his love so much that i just did it cuz i was scared of everything else and of losing him. (We did eventually marry 3 yrs later but he had an affair within 6 months) and i was afraid of what my family would think of me having an unplanned pregnancy and no education it help my future. I wasn't even in college.

I went to a dr in a hospital and they did an ultrasound. keep in mind there is a reason they dont let you SEE the image on the ultrasound screen. you can see the beating heart. i know that kno, but i didnt know that then. They told me nothing and was hoping I wouldn't find out. then they put in a D&C and i went home for a night to "let it work". It was very crampy and painful. and on the next day i went back to the hospital....I can tell you from experience that even though i was under light anesthesia I will never ever forget the horrific sound during the abortion and how I screamed out in pain. When it was over I was lying there alone in the room and say my boyfriend my the head of my bed with his head down by my arm just bawling his eyes out. It wasn't even his child and he was so greatly affected by what he had seen and what "we" had done.

In the years afterward I was at first not really thinking much of it. Busy with life and trying to ignore the reality of what I had done. I my heart I always felt it was a boy. I'm not sure why,

Now I'm 45 yrs old and i have a 7 yr old little boy now. im married but his father is not involved, im telling yo that no time is the perfect time to have a baby. We can't plan our lives exactly. My sons father chooses not to be involved and he was my best friend in high school and this behavior happened in our late 30s! So you just don't know. Hving a a baby is hard and stressful no matter when you did it. But it's always worth it. Knowing the love I have for my little boy now makes me so realize how much I miss the child I never gave life to.

20 yrs later I think about it so much I cannot tell you how sad it is knowing I snuffed out the life of my very own child. If you do it you may think youre going to be fine with the decision bus in the long run theres no way you can avoid grieving this loss, i even have nightmares sometimes that im going to be caught for murder that i committed yrs ago. and I'm telling you, every time I see an empty chair, and i look in the rear view mirror to see an empty seat in the car next to the son i have now...I think I know who should be sitting right there. Every holiday, every year, every due date anniversary i think and wonder what would have been. Only my sister and my boyfriend and one or two close friends ever knew and its an incredible secret to keep for a lifetime.

The pain is incredible in the long run and your child deserves to live just like you got to live. Honor The Lord in your decision and He promises He WIlLL make a way for you. Today knowing how i know the Lord and seen Him meet my every need in life during the hardest times when i trusted Him for everything, i can look back and see that He would have made a way for me when i thought i had no way to support a child. Don't take your own child's life just to avoid what your family may think or do....because you stand or fall before God, everyone makes mistakes, there are millions of unplanned pregnancies. You are loved by the God who created you and your unborn child. He says "before you were born i knew you, I formed you in your mothers womb".

I christ's love.......please don't do what I did. You'll never be the same.

Ps....this has been so painful over my life that I have never told people or written a word about. Today is the very first day and in doing so I'm bawling my eyes out....the regret is near unbearable.
Even my own husband doesn't know. Even though i am a christian and God has forgiven me I'm far too ashamed because I still feel like I killed my little boy. O...M....G

First of all, calm down. Give yourself a minute. Count to 10. Inhale/Exhale. Right now, before reading the rest of my post.

Okay now that you've done that, listen up. I am not going to lie to you. Having a baby is a huge responsibility. It is also the most wonderful feeling in the world. You would be surprised that all your fears and worries may not come true. Your family just might accept your child into their lives. I mean that child would be family too. Also you and your boyfriend are adults. Especially if you both are talking of having children and marriage. You are not teenagers. All part of being an adult is making decisions, making mistakes, taking responsibility, and most of all disappointing those who love and care about us. Come on, we can't please everyone, right? If we did, then we wouldn't be living our own lives. We would be living other people's lives. And that is the worse feeling ever.

Now with that being said, it is ultimately up to you as far as what you feel is best. I advised you to calm down before reading the rest of this because panicking can only cause you to make wrong decisions. And if you are considering abortion, you need to be calm as you can be. Because there is no going back once it is done. Even when most women are calm and feeling in her heart that she made the right decision to abort, she regret it. Speaking from experience. I had one 5 years ago. There's no going back. I just have to accept it and learn to move on.

Take your time and do your own research. Look at your options carefully. Stop focusing on what everyone else thinks or your family, for a moment. And start focusing on what is going on with you and your life. Without thinking about your family, honestly ask yourself can you take care of this baby? That also includes carrying it full term and giving birth. Can you really be a mother right now? It sounds to me that you are ready to be a mother. And the whole "I can't afford it" thing, is a waste of words, in my opinion. I am a single mom, on disability raising my 2 year old daughter. Its not the easiest job in the world, but it is not impossible. I am living proof of that. My daughter was planned. We both wanted a baby. And facing my family was difficult for me too. But I did, knowing in the back of my mind they would disown me too. I didn't care because I wanted a baby. Her father abused me my entire pregnancy. Now that she's here, my family loves her. My family is the only family she's got.

If you feel that abortion is the best choice for you, then have an abortion. But expect the unexpected. And be ready to start your healing process by talking about. The easiest thing about having an abortion is the procedure itself. Maybe even after a couple of days, you might feel relieved and ready to get on with your life. And may later feel the emotions of regret and depression. I highly recommend you seek counseling if you ever get those feelings. Do not stuff them. Your boyfriend will need to do the same. And be honest about your feelings. Do not pretend you are okay if you are not. So if you are going to have an abortion, be ready to do some serious work so that you can recover. You don't want to be haunted by this in almost 5 years like it did me.

Last, you and your boyfriend need to keep the lines of communication open. No matter what. Perhaps talk to him again about options. Ask him how is he feeling. I understand about that fertile clock. I got one too. I worry about being pregnant again and having abortion #2. I don't want another abortion. Especially since I am 30 and my goal is to have 2 more children before I'm 35. I really hope that I am not pregnant because my health is not at its best right now. I've been trying to get my health back so that when ready, me and my guy can have babies. And I want to be married first before having anymore children. I worry about how it would look if I had another child and not be married. Perhaps embarassing. People would just have to get over it, right?

Good luck with whatever you decide. I hope my post wasn't too long.

First, relax. You and your boyfriend have made a decision to use the pull out method, which you already knew isn't reliable. You knew, you could become pregnant. And now you are. Never give up a baby because of others people's opinions or pressure. This is your baby, and the father of the baby is in the picture as well. I was 20 when I had my son, and wasn't in a stable relationship. It was very hard, and I struggled. I went on to finish school. Because I was committed and decided to make it work :) Financial instability can change, and so can life. Choosing death instead of life because of a temporary financial situation is not a good reason. There are millions of mothers who have had children at our age, and as your both pursuing future careers, you won't be in the financial state forever. Life is too beautiful to give up because of families opinion or finances. This baby is your family too...This is a little life, who is part of you and the man you love. A baby's heart beats at 18 days and I think you need to own this responsibility as you both knew what you were doing! And plus, I have never regretted having my son..he is my biggest fan and this baby will love you more then anyone in the world! You can still finish school and follow your goals, and make it work, with a baby. I did. And you, can too. Life is too precious to throw away...this life will always be another person..so it's better to have a giggly baby then regret, right? I think so. It's ultimately your decision, but abortion is one decision that is forever. If your boyfriend loves you, he will love this baby too. He will want to share this with you, and any man who pressures his girl to abort isn't worthy of her! True. Plus abortion usually affects the relationship as well..and can make it difficult to conceive in the future. I don't know, your decision, but this is a baby's life, and a decision you made...to continue having sex...

I'd say if your confused wait a while....you still have about 9 weeks. But I just want you to know, that deciding to have a child married or not is still a risk. And at all times when that decision is made, your child is what comes first. So if you do wanna keep it then make the resolution in your heart and face your family with your head held up high, this will be your first creation of life. So have nothing but pride in it....and with that thought also, if you decide to wait till you and your boyfriend are more stable then do that with pride. Sunnie V is right, this is truly your decision...be strong beautiful.

You sound like there is part of you that wants to keep the baby, and it's wonderful your boyfriend is backing you up no matter what you choose. It is not an easy decision for anyone (I had an abortion recently myself). If you are unable to support the child financially, that is a major hurdle to overcome to keep the baby. If you have the abortion, there is a good chance you'll live with some regret and a few "what if's." I chose not to follow through with my pregnancy because of finances and also being on the rocks with my bf, though it sounds like you two are stable.
About not having patience for crying babies, I am the same way and I did research on that before my partner and I made our decision. For lots of women, maternal instinct kicks in and you feel the urge to love and nurture the little ball of snot/puke/screams/poop. But daycare is also exorbitantly expensive, so figure that into your decision making. You are legally an adult, but if you feel like you can't confide in your parents, is there someone else that you could talk to? Most women don't talk about their abortions out of shame, so it can be hard to find someone who shares your predicament, but one in three women has had one. If not, I am here to talk to :)

Ultimately, you will probably face some heartache one way or another. If you feel it in your gut that you're not ready for a child, that may be your answer. Please take time to weigh your options, because either choice is permanent. Be thankful that you have a loving, supportive boyfriend. Also, families have a way of coming around, but you never know how exactly that will go down. They may, they may not. It is good that you came here for support, but I'll tell you one thing...the people that respond to these types of posts and tell you FIRMLY to do one thing or another are folks looking out for their own beliefs. You have to do what right for you, so I'm sorry but I won't be one to push you to an exact decision, but many women have had abortions, and many women have had babies their families didn't "condone." You will be walking a path well-traveled either way. Best of luck, reach out to me if you'd like to talk.