Shame

I feel shame and guilt every day of my life! I have now had three abortions and regret it! I had my last one back in November of 2006 and now I am ready to be a mommy! There is one problem. I'm afraid that I will never be blessed with another child or that my body will not allow me to carry another child! I'm so sad and I cry about this almost every day. If I am working then I will not think about it as much but as soon as I am alone it takes over my every thought! I'm so scared and feel so alone. If anyone has any advise for me I would be so greatful.  

Loody Loody
26-30, F
2 Responses Jun 28, 2007

I felt like passing this and not commenting, but good ness how sad can i feel for u when abortion is like going on a vacation three in the last few years. How about trading sex for education so you will be better skilled, and financially secure the next time to make your child.

From your story, it seemed to me that the main reason you regret having your previous abortions is because you have not *yet* had a child. I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself. You can not change the past. And at the time, you did what you thought was best, and made the best decision that you could at that moment. The past is the past, you need to let it rest for the moment so that you can focus on the future, because clearly you have important things to do. The first thing I think you should do is go and see a doctor to have them see if there is any medical reason why you should not be able to conceive. Obviously, you will need to tell them about your abortions, and the technique used. The doctor will hopefully be able to answer your questions about whether or not your chances of having a child have changed as a result of your abortion. There is no point being upset about something that may or may not be real. Go and make that appointment. And then, time to look into ways to maximise your chances of getting pregnant! :D