Secret

It's been two years to the date since I had my abortion. It feels like just yesterday when I entered the clinic. I remenber feeling so torn for what I was about to do. No one really knows what I have done. Perhaps it was the right thing at the time. But now that I am hitting 30 I feel like I failed. My heart goes out to all who have gone through this.... Today is one of the darkest days of my life.
Distant Distant
26-30, F
2 Responses Jul 13, 2007

I'm really sorry for what you are going through. Listen to what you know to be true. At a time like this it may feel that you need to hide, just hide, from others, God, even yourself. You don't need to. He can't wait to hold you and help you reconcile with your past. Evidence of post-abortion trauma is increasingly attested to by psychologists, counselors and those involved in post-abortion ministry. We now know, for example, that women hurt by abortion may have some or many of the following symptoms:<br />
<br />
Low self-esteem <br />
Grief (mild to profound) <br />
Depression (sometimes to the point of suicidal thoughts and attempts) <br />
A sense of alienation from family and friends <br />
A feeling of being 'numb,' not able to feel joy from activities that used to be pleasurable <br />
Isolating self from others to avoid discussing the abortion experience with them <br />
Guilt and shame <br />
There is help. There is a great group of people at Project Rachel at http://www.hopeafterabortion.com/ Check out the whole site particularly "In Their Own Words" on the right side of the page. There's also an 800 number under "Where to Find Help". Give it a chance, give yourself a chance. I don't know you but I wish I could reach out to you. If you're willing to accept my prayer, I will pray for you.

Your story is vey sad, but im sure that you had your reasons for doing it...and we cant change the past, we can only move forward<br />
<br />
Im sure this must be truly hard for u and maybe it is time you told someome?