I'm So Sad!!

I had an abortion in September 2008. I was about 11 weeks pregnant. My partner and I had been together for about a year but he is older than me and doesn't want any more children, he already has a little boy from his previous relationship. We decided that the best thing to do was to terminate the pregnancy. I didn't want to lose him as I love him dearly. These few months after the abortion have been hell for me emotionally. I fear that the abortion was the worst mistake of my life!! I don't feel that my partner and I discussed it properly and I didn't consider how I'd feel afterwards. I feel empty and I feel like I'm mourning my child. Everytime I see a baby or a child, I want to break down! I'm forever thinking about what I could have had! I feel like it was my only chance and I'm disgusted with myself for not giving the baby a chance at life! I didn't think I wanted children at the time, but now I do and I know my partner doesn't! I'm still hurting and very confused!!

noodles1984 noodles1984
22-25
1 Response Feb 15, 2009

I know how you feel :(<br />
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I can tell you it will get better in time. I'm not sure I'll ever be 100% ok with what I did. But I used to cry every single day for months on end, then it went to every other day, then at least once a week. Now nearly 2 years on, it's only once every few weeks, even every month or two and then only when something has really reminded me of it all. <br />
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I know how you feel about the children thing too, I'm sure I never wanted a child as much as I do now.<br />
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Mourning your child is natural too.<br />
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I can only suggest trying to talk to your partner about how you feel, and if you ever feel the need to talk feel free to give me a shout on here.<br />
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Take care *hugs*