Seriously Considering Abortion

I'm 24 yrs old.

I just found out that i'm 6-7 weeks pregnant.

I have been umemployed for about 6 months. So I have like no money. I don't even really have a permanent place to live.

Recently, I just got a job as a hostess at a restaurant that's not even open yet. So far i've worked a total of 12 hours this month. Haven't got a paycheck yet. No benefits. Minimum wage.

I live with my boyfriend (26) and his parents. They're letting me stay here temporarily until I can earn some money to move out. I've been living here going on 5 months.

I don't even have a car right now because my last boyfriend totalled it. So my bf now is fortunate enough to have good credit. He took out a loan at the bank and we are now looking for a car... that I won't be driving until I could afford to be insured.

As you can tell, I have nothing right now and to bring a baby into my struggles with debt is not something I want to do. Not only am I in debt, I don't even have an apartment of my own anymore... and who wants to room with a newborn baby?

We have chosen not to tell anyone. No one knows but the dr. who confirmed my pregnancy yesterday.

I know that God has given us all the freedom to choose for ourselves what's best for us, but sometimes we don't always know the answer for ourselves. It's so much easier to look at someone elses life and know what they could have done or what they did wrong.

I know there are financial aids out there like wic among others... but what about my living situtation? This house is no place to raise a child. We are cramped up in a small room with a dog and there are 3 other dogs who live here. Space is so limited. I can't bear the thought of giving up my baby for adoption either. As I type out all these reasons not to have this baby, my decsion is not to have it, but every where I go lately.. I see baby stuff at the store, baby's on tv, women and their babies, and I wonder what it would be like to have one. Knowing there is a living being inside of me that will probably never live on to experience life. I know that I can't provide for it right now... and who will watch my baby when i'm away at work. As for school, I wanted to enroll this semester, but couldn't afford it. I can't talk to anyone I know about this and i'm dying to tell someone. Just one person, but here I am and the more I type the more confident I feel that I am making the right decision for the 3 involved.

 

VanGo VanGo
22-25, F
9 Responses Feb 21, 2009

So the doctor said: 'Ok and what do you want me to do?' <br />
She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.' <br />
The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: 'I think I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too.' <br />
She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request. <br />
Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms.<br />
This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is. There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.<br />
<br />
The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child! <br />
'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be OK with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.<br />
The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point. <br />
He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb.<br />
The crime is the same!<br />
<br />
Please check this: http://www.inplainsite.org/html/the_face_of_abortion.html

Abortion should be your decision only. Nobody but you<br />
will have to live with it. Before you decide, get counseling from those who aren't connected with abortion clinics. They'll be more ob<x>jective. Too many women have regrets about it. It can cause infertility,too.<br />
Adoptions are different now. If you choose it, you'll likely be able to keep in contact with child. There are many agencies to help you if you choose to keep it. It's not end of the world. If boyfriend's not supportive, you don't need him. Many women are successful at raising children alone. Why not you? Good luck!

I believe you know what is right for you. I believe you can and will get through this. If you ever need a shoulder or some added support there is tons to go around here. You are not being selfish for thinking deeply about what is best for everyone involved. I say talk it out with those who love you and figure out what is best for everyone. It is important that you are grounded in your decision and you are free from feelings of being pushed into anything ok. You don't have to rush this sort of decision since you have time to make it. Take care ok!!!<br><br />
<br><br />
(((HUGS))))<br><br />
<br><br />
hae

Marji, you are absolutely right. My bf is the greatest guy. I can't wait to share our love story! He treats me so good. <br />
and thanks for holding my hand through this. I'm happy to have met you on ep. I value and cherish your words. <br />
<br />
Nan, I forgot to add that I do take into account the fact that I was born in America in this time period where I have options easily available to me. Some girls in other countries or time periods aren't so lucky and I am thankful to be able to have the option to go either way. <br />
<br />
I have my dr. appt. first thing in the morning. I will definitely be back on ep right afterwards as my bf will be at work and I will definitely need to come on here and vent and share my experience.

Sorry, Sweetie, but I take back my comment that you should talk to your b.f. Since he seems to find T.A. a convenient solution, I feel it is only your feelings that should count. Do what you want to do.

I want to thank everyone for leaving comments. You all mean so much to me. Thank you for sharing your stories in my time of need. <br />
<br />
My bf is for the abortion. In his last relationship his fiance at the time had an abortion too. Her name happens to be my name too and her bday is the same month and year as mine only i'm 4 days older than her. This would be his 2nd abortion. Him and I have had a few talks about the topic. He said this is the most he had ever talked about it since his last fiance made it easy for him. She said give me the money and pick me up from the dr. because I will be sedated and that was it. Because she never talked about it with him I don't think he realizes that it's something I will have to live with my entire life. <br />
<br />
Tomorrow I have my first appt. with the ob/gyn so we can talk about my options. I'm nervous!<br />
<br />
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all of your kind support. Much love.

Oh, Sweetie, my heart goes out to you. I DO know how you feel, except that when it happened to me, my boyfriend abandoned me, in a strange city where I could not speak the language. I came home, got a job and a room in a rooming house. After much grief-stricken thought, I opted for an abortion - not an easy thing in the 70's. I don't know if it makes it easier for you or not - my decision at that time was abortion. Yes, I have always wished I could have had that baby, but at the same time, I know my decision was the right one, for both myself and the child. (The whole story is posted in my story under "Pro-Choice or Pro-Life - Both Right But Not Quite". Do take in to consideration how your boyfriend feels (at least he is standing by you) but the ultimate decision is yours. Whatever you choose will be the right choice . Meanwhile, I empathise with you. At the time I made my choice, legal terminations were not widely available, but I happened to be a hospital employee and had support from my coworkers (for which I am eternally grateful) and so got a legal termination. Things are easier now, and your choice is up to you, and you cannot make a "wrong" one, so go where your heart leads you.

I am really sorry for your situation. I have 3 cousins and one friend who had teen pregnancies. They all had help from their parents. The one's that did not get married did better with their parents help. The one's that married ended in a divorce soon after and ended up getting help from their parents. They all made their way through with their babies and today the babies are adults and all have children of their own. Two of these pregnancies ended up being only children and I have thought that if these teens aborted their babies they may not have been able to have others. I have a male cousin that got his girlfriend pregnant and she gave the baby up for adoption and he never married and has a lot of regrets. I think you probably need some kind of support group now! Don't know if this insight helps and I was not in this situation, but please talk to your parents if you can. Sounds like the way you are living has to change. Abortion is final and there is no going back.

You still have a little more time. Abortion will be your burden for life. You are young there is more time to have children. I’m not telling you to or not to. You must look in your heart. Maybe ask his parents or your parents to see if they can help..