Today I had an abortion . I'm 23 . Me an my boyfriend decided this was best after weighing out the option of possibly keeping the baby but decided we would be selfish to have them risen in poverty an struggling ... So anyway the abortion was the surgical kind . I was suppose to be under twilight ( a type of sedation kind of like special K or roofy) but I didn't feel the effects of that until I got home so as u can imagine I felt all types of horrific pain the whole time . It was SO PAINFUL an I felt EVERYTHING ! I never would wish that pain on my enemy . Its a traumatic experience that I wish I could take back . I fight back tears because this experience will always be plastered in my mind . I thought it would be easy an I can go back to making my life correct ..... I feel lost now I feel guilty I feel so many bad emotions my mind is spinning . If your deciding to have an abortion I advise you think of all options thoroughly if I could rewind time I would because feeling everything they did an HEARING them is like a horror movie an I just wanna crawl an hide but I cant I have to carry on with life somehow .
jalene23 jalene23
22-25, F
3 Responses Aug 15, 2014

Hi. I've also went through the same thing that you did. I felt it the whole time, because I was not sedated (they dont give sedatio here in my country). So, I know exactly how you feel. I couldnt stop crying for a few weeks. But, it does get better.

It was traumatic. It was an experience that I thought I could never forget. It's starting to blurred now after a year. I think your emotions are pretty natural and it's a way to mourn for your loss. Anyway, I hope you recover and hope that u will forgive yourself. Try to be positive... Take a walk... Exercise ... It might help

I believe it will get better myself . Time will tell but right now it hurts .. Thank yu for the encouraging words :)

*hugs*

Thank you :) much needed

I am sorry to hear that i had minimal pain more so like my period but emotional scars are very deep !;(

Thats what I was suppose to feel also or what they described it would feel like but I felt more as I described . I'm gonna have to learn to cope but thank yu for reading :) ..

I was barely six week how far were you

I was 12

Thats why sweetie i am really sorry honey

I was told the further you are the more you go thru .. Never believed it.. I appreciate your kindness

I saw different women there a 12 week was hurting pretty bad and i was freaking out i gave her ibuprofen but when i woke up from procedure i was surprised i had fear so much but the dad never wanted to do anything with me :(

Well he sucks *** and your stronger than ever to do that by yourself !

It is an untold scar :(

I guess we all have those ... Scars :(

Yep :(

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