I am currently 30, and I have had two abortions before. One was at 17, I was raped, and the second was when I was 25, but my ex-husband didn't want the baby. I suffered severe depression after the second abortion, and my marriage crumbled and we filed for divorce shortly after.

I remarried again earlier this year to a man who loves me for me, but I never have the guts to tell him about the two abortions. We have been trying to conceive for a few months now, and I am still not pregnant yet. Month after month, I somehow convinced myself that I will never get pregnant, because God is punishing me for the previous abortions.

I wish I could tell my two babies how sorry I am, and how guilty I felt on both occasions. I hope I will be forgiven.
julymoon julymoon
31-35, F
2 Responses Aug 23, 2014

Discuss the two abortions with your doctor. Sometimes after 30 it takes a little longer to get pregnant. G-d is not punishing you. After my abortion I was afraid G-d would punish me and I would not be able to conceive. But I did and I have 2 children. But it is important you talk to your doctor. A nurse told me a way to get pregnant and it helped. After sex she told me not to get up and to put pillows under me propping my front side up to form gravity for the ***** to travel into my tubes. It worked, did it one time and was pregnant,

You need to forgive yourself. And you can't think negatively because you aren't pregnant yet. It will happen for you when it's supposed to. And then you can love your baby enough for all 3 of them. Try to stay positive.

Thank you for your kind words =)