It was a year ago. I think I have been in denial since I did it. Its just now hitting me because my husband says he doesn't want a baby. I had my chance to have one with him but didn't because he said it wasn't the right time and we one day would when it was. I didn't want to but I had no choice. I feel guilty and stupid. I dont think il ever forgive him. Or myself.
boydbird boydbird
22-25, F
4 Responses Sep 2, 2014

I totally get it. I can't help but think "what if I can never get pregnant again" I had a potentially healthy baby but ended it and what if I never get that chance again...sorry I doubt this is helping but I just understand how you feel! I don't think I'll ever forgive myself either.

Im honestly afraid if I told him it was a dealbreaker he would just let me leave rather then have a baby with me

In that case it might be better to leave him... Children can be deal breakers either way.

It was wrong for him to lead you on, but it's also wrong for you to pretend you're okay not having a child with him while you bide your time in hopes he changes his mind.

Trying to wrangle your husband into having a baby he doesn't want will likely ruin your marriage and possibly be a negative environment for the child to grow up in.

As for the decision to have an abortion, you did have a choice and you chose to out your husband first. For better or worse, that's the reality.

It sounds like you both have a lot of things to talk about and decide on where to go from here.

You should speak to him honestly.... tell him that you feel hurt because you always believed that you would be having children in the future with him. Really try to get him to understand what you went through having an abortion (a physically and mentally distressing thing) and that it could be a dealbreaker for you

I can understand your feelings..but you need to console yourself as well as your feelings for your husband too..otherwise it will spoil your marriage life.