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I Had An Abortion

I am 18 year old and found out I was pregnant on 8th november, at first I was shocked as i was on the pill and didnt really know what to do, i was at work when i found out and couldn't do much about it until the next day..

when i got home from work i spoke to my boyfriend about it and we decided it wasnt the right time and neither us could afford to give it the life it deserved, although i was upset i knew i was doing the right thing.

the next day i booked an appointment at the doctors and got reffered for a termination, the doctor does ask you ALOT of questions but i think its to make sure you are making the decision. i got a call from the doctors to say they had booked me an appointment on the 26th of november.

i went to the hospital on the 26th for my first appointment, i had my scan here but because my bladder was empty i had to have the internal scan (which isnt as bad as you think) i found out that i was 7 weeks and 4 days gone. after my scan i had a meeting with a nurse who talked me through the 2 different procedures (medical & surgical) i decided to go with surgical so i was less aware of what was going on. They booked me in for another 2 weeks time, 4th december.

i went to the hospital at 8am on the 4th, when i arrived i was told straight away to change into the hospital gown and my own dressing gown. a nurse then placed 2 pessaries inside mw which make the procedure quicker and easier and about an hour after that i was taken to theatre.

its quite scary when you get inside the theatre as there is people everywhere but before you know it your having the aneasthetic and your asleep.

i woke up in a completely different room with 2 nurses looking after me. i was then wheeled down back to where my boyfriend was waiting for me. i felt so relieved that it was all over. the nurses were really nice and looked after me, they made sure i'd had something to eat before i left.

i bled quite alot on the first day but now its just a bit of spotting and i feel so much better.

i was offered a different form of contraception as the pill didnt work for me, i had a coil fitted whilst i was under anaesthetic.

it is a very difficult experience for anyone to deal with, but it seems much worse before you have it done. i have never been so worried about anything in my life but once i had woken up i wondered what i was worried about!

i'd support anyone making this decision, i know its not easy but sometimes its the most sensible option.

Tropical291 Tropical291 18-21, F 42 Responses Dec 8, 2009

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I was so glad to hear you had a decent experience!
One hears so many 'old wives' tales' about what happened to a friend of a friend!
We all need to read first-hand accounts!

Hugs and Thanks

Pat

I cannot believe how horrible some people are. I've been there and I know how hard it is for you<3 these people will never understand and never understand the sacrifice we made as people. Plus, the better outcome we made for our children
I know I will see my daughter again and you will see yours too. These people on the other hand will never know what true love is because true love is being able to sacrifice anything even yourself

the most sensible option would be the human being in your womb to be asked if it wants to live but it didnt happen this way, dit it? nor it was asked to be conceived in some random unprotected sex. you got to mature and learn your actions affect others. period.

what are you bubbling? are you stupid? im not trying to affect anyone neither did i notice the date of the post. and how could you ever know who i am and what i do? did your pathetic little keybord crusade of insults boosted your needy little ego? hmm? happy now? im thankful i helped, come back anytime...

and there he goes again...

your age tells me nothing. i lived on my own since 12 years old and went to university with money from my two jobs. ive been with an incredible girl which i fall in love at 17 and still is the love of my life but life took her away from me in a car accident. shut the hack up and go drink some tea granny. and i dont think you "have many in canada" who can be awesomely humorous with their friends, best students in their university, good chess players and work in building site in the same time. go get some sleep. and learn the only reason first place i got in that community is to help a guy who was talking of suicides and **** while being incredible young.

such trash talking. you are clueless for your age. the ***** and bigmouths get what they have coming to them. hard working decent girls get my tenderness and respect. life was hard with me and im hard with her. no matter the age or office one has i will talk to him in an equally good or bad manner. i adore and utterly respect Women but you can reach 100 years old and not become a Woman (same for Man). and what you mean you finished university at 18 where you some kind of genius or is that the american system? whatever, whenever i sense something as unfair i hardly overcome the temptation to involve but never try to force what i believe right.

geez, do u need to always have the last word? what even was the purpose of this post? all the ropes and crapp. get a life granny. you learned nothing about me, mrs 10-pence psychologist. people like you have grown old for nothing. i dont care if you gained money, status or friends in these years. its all a big failure if you failed as a character. wisdom and humbleness are the greatest traits an old person should shine with and you seem to have achieved neither of them. respect is inspired dont take it for granted. imagine i thought off you as a young cocky dude in the first place. what kind of lady gives off like that. also fooling around in the internet explains alot about your present and younger years, "mrs independant hard working lady". and dont get hypocritic there are sl_ts as there are pigs and we cant/shouldnt do anything about it. genius she said... she has humour too. i should be more modest than you despite being younger, and stop that nonsense but you got far too cocky to resist. anyway bye and.... i hope your mental age reaches your physical one.

2 More Responses

Hi Tropical,
You made a difficult decision, one that many more have made. I will be honest and speak what I think is morally right. Not in the name of God like some of these jesus freaks. Yes many of these are right about your too young and was ill prepared but, did you ever think about consulting your parents? Asking the people that brought you into this world for advice or maybe help with the child? I had a friend that tried every single thing she could such as look for people willing to adopt the child, see if she could afford raising the child and if none of these worked she already asked her parents if they could help. Sadly I live in a third world country. See even though she didn't have all that much money she looked at every option but she just couldn't keep the child. She had to, she can barely afford to feed herself let alone a child. I see abortion as wrong but to a certain degree. But just from reading your story, you didn't do much at all. You found out you were carrying a child, talked to the father and basically just said lets kill it. You barely did anything. You didn't think. This was a story of how you took a life. I am sorry but I hope you suffer with guilt the rest of your life. I say this from an atheist view point, from my own thoughts and not of what some church or book told me.

I got pregnant on the pill three times. I wasn't married at the time. I didn't have an abortion for any of my pregnancies, but I am not in even passable circumstances financially, so I've been struggling trying to get my kids what they need and want. Certain people, such as those religious @ssholes who keep telling everybody not to get an abortion, have said "If you don't have the money to raise a kid, then keep your legs shut! Your brats are a drain on the economy!" Please let me point out: 1)even people who can't afford birth control want to have sex because it is free and non-taxable 2)some of us get pregnant on birth control 3)some of us are raped 4)the church keeps telling women we'll go to hell if we have an abortion 5)the republicans and the church want women to know as little as possible about sex and their bodies so that they have less choices and no power. So the need for birth control is real but effectiveness and availability is not guaranteed, and abortion is condemned but the women who have unplanned pregnancies are blamed, cursed and humiliated!
So these fools are attacking from both sides. We are all damned if we do and damned if we don't. I wish my mother had aborted me, so that I wouldn't have been molested by my drunk psycho father, but she had me anyway because she had been brainwashed by religious dogma. My childhood was unbelievably violent, horrible, and I'm shocked I even survived. You were brave, so regret nothing. When and if you finally decide to have kids, they will be the better for it when you are able to give them every advantage possible. You took precautions--they didn't work--you did what you had to do. Let it go.

Then tell me, if didn't want to live the life you were given, why didn't you kill yourself? Honestly, you said it yourself that you wish you were aborted but why the hell did you bother living? I myself am just curious

Ohhh, yeah...why can't everyone who disagrees with you just DIE? Why can't they just all kill themselves? Then the world would be so much better...well, for you at least. Think of how convenient that would be...
What are you, 4? Grow the eff up!!
Oh, and to answer your question: I decided to stick around specifically to p1ss off all the arrogant, judgmental @sswipes. Wouldn't miss it for the world. Smooches!!

I am responding mainly because of the spectrum of responses below to which I want to add my two cents.
To anyone reading this, I acknowledge that it is a tough decision to make - whether to carry a child to term and give it up for adoption or to abort it. The easier decision ultimately seems to be to abort, because we don't have to think what happens next and it seems we can continue life as it is.
But I think whether or not you are religious, every woman facing abortion ultimately faces up to the reality that it is a life she is dealing with. The next question is however perhaps the inability in the present circumstances to take care of the child and give it the life it deserves. But we cannot know what life with the child would have been like, unless we have been parents before, or what kind of life it could have had (had it been adopted).
So for all those who are considering an abortion, I would like you to consider giving it a chance at life. What it makes of that life we do not know - but instead of the pessisimistic picture of a horrible future, it can also be a happy one. What we do know is that it will not, if it is snuffed out.

But for those who have undergone abortion, I hope at least, you will carry the child in your heart, so at least there was one person who remembers it. I imagine it cannot have been pleasant and I don't blame you for the decision, for I understand the hopelessness and desperation (for those who felt this way) - I have been there - and I imagine it is worse when you are so young . But all that can be done now is to take the lesson to be more careful in future and not to repeat it again. Let not our children pay for our carelessness or inability to bear the consequences of our actions. None of us (whether pro choice or pro life) really supports abortion.

why are most of you hateful you don't know how it is and what there story is so most of you should mind your own business.

im sorry but you killed someone. you killed a human being. its not right at all.

She didn't kill a human being; she ended a pregnancy. A fetus isn't a human being until it is carried to term and is born. A seed, though fertilized, is still a seed, not a plant.

Did u know by one month gestation(well before her stated murder) a baby has a heart beat.... she murdered a human. thats not okay

My son is adopted. I thank God every day his birth mother did not make the decision you did. He is the joy of my life.

Don't make her feel bad, you are a bad person for posting this. Have you looked at adoption centers? They are overcrowded like crazy and with all the kids in adoption it is impossible for every one of them to get adopted. Think before you type.

shes not a bad person, i view abortion as murder except when there is a situation when it is either the mother's life or the baby's life to choose to save. and yes! she probably did looka t adoption centers, you did read that she adopted right?

Everyday it is happening in my country....Tropical.This time do it right....start a wonderful family with a responsible man!Abortion is not easy...You feel so down.Later if you can't concieve...you will be even more guilty.Life is short...move on from this mistake forgive yourself and find real love,right?

Thou shall not kill says God you couldve placed that baby for adoption. God had a plan for that baby . abortions is not a birth control . just being honest

You're right Thou Shall Not Kill and this was something that crossed my mind over and over but you know what, who is anyone to judge anyone I kept telling myself the only person ill ever need to explain myself to is to GOD abortion isn't a birth control you are absolutely right but its a choice a choice made by a human being that will forever deal with the consequences. Dealing with the emotions to make the decision is rough, dealing with the emotions afterwards is even greater but when you have no support its very painful. GOD has plans for all of us. I'm not saying this should be an alternative for anyone, but its a choice and it is known that there are repercussions to this but someone doesn't need the negativity thrown at em. It's already hard as it is. I don't pity I don't sympathize I empathize because I'm going through it. I have been against abortion my entire life and the decision I made I will forever live with but that's just it, I made the choice so who is anyone to say what plans GOD had for a child. No one knows that. He knows our lives before we do. I respect what you said and I ask you do the same. We're all entitled to opinions

That was beautifully said. Thank you on behalf of all women who cannot find the words.

Thou shall not kill is a moral code. But please don't incorporate GOD with it. If you did read the bible, it is one of the most violent stories of its time. GOD even killed every single being except a family and 2 of each animal which doesn't make any sense. Please do not use GOD in a valid argument. GOD is just as real as Superman.

@Vhjnhub, right why don't you tell that 9 year old in the middle east who got pregnant by a forced marriage that god has a plan? Oh, wait, you can't tell her because it killed her.

1 More Response

This is something I really needed to hear, kudos to you girl. I'm currently debating on either doing the pill abortion or the surgical.. I don't want to feel invaded but at the same time I don't want it to be along process :(

Thank you so much for posting this, after hearing your story I know now more than ever that I'm doing the right thing.

no its not its aliving human being extermination we are talking about here

Thank you so much for sharing your story, this is exactly what i needed to hear, not a biased tale written by a pro life group. Thank you for the support.

Tropical, don't listen to the negative comments. You did what you thought was best. I support your decision. All of these negative comments are coming from people who are not only ignorant to your situation but they do not know you. I also don't see any of them lining up to take care of anyone's child. Furthermore, look at what they are doing. They are so insecure with their beliefs that they have to go onto a support group website to trash women they've never met nor care to understand. If they were secure in their beliefs they would not be doing this. You are strong. You are brave. Don't ever hang your head in shame. God gives us challenges to show us how strong we are and to give us a purpose. Your purpose was to share your story and maybe bring light to those "good Christians" who cast hypocritical judgement on you. Stay strong girl. <3

kittiskattis, a fetus can not feel pain in a first trimester abortion...iy doesn't have nerves developted,,if someones destroys your nerves in a certain area you will not feel there...an abortion is sad, because a fetus can become a baby, but also is not 100% percent sure, there is a chance of 25% miscarriage also so in first trimester pregnancy..When i had my abortion 4 weeks, i did because of medical condition and teh father did not wanted the possible baby, i was going to take the risk, but my cons where more than my pro, also i was starting to have miscarriage symptoms, i decided to have an abortion as soon as possible because i did not wanted to wait longer than 4 weeks, and the chances the possible baby can come with a high probability of health problems, and me also having them, i have some tumors..But althought no matter the reason medical or not , an abortion hurts.. I never saw the sonogram, did not wanted to, the doctor just told me it was like 4 weeks, i dont know if they where twins, if there was a heart beat....I feel sad, i regret it sometimes, thinking o should have taken the risk, but who would adopt if teh baby come with problems with the 50%, the father did not want the baby in anyway, because he just dumped me after because he was engaged and i did not know it.. It was very hard for me all these situation, loosing the possible baby, my health, the baby possible health and a unloving father who played with me...I will always feel sad, because in my heart i wanted him and in that time i loved the father, i feel empty, and know checking my tumors, i decide not to have children becaus eof my condition i dont want to go tru another abortion, miscarriage....But in a future you can have a baby and your other baby will be in heaven waiting for you...

I had a surgical abortion yesterday. I am an emotional wreck. The IV medicine didn't start kicking in until after the procedure so I remember and felt EVERYTHING. I had absolutely NO idea what an abortion was until I was in the operating room. When they turned the suction machine on, causing tremendous pain, I was scared. It hurt so much and I wanted to scream. I wanted it to stop when suddenly i realized that there was a living, breathing child inside of me. They were killing my baby. The fetus is perfectly capable of feeling any kind of pain. I regret it so much. Think adoption. Not abortion.

As if it has brain activity at that point. If it does, there's no more activity than in a small animal. People kill and eat small animals all the time. If you can be so aggressively compassionate towards an embryo, you should be able to be aggressively compassionate towards animals, bugs, etc. Just because you can relate to its consciousness doesn't make it any more important than another living thing.

Tropical ... I wouldnt take what these haters say to heart they are just venting some anger in a way they can amuse themselves by attrecting attention... why else would they come on a site and read about womens experiences ... Allot of them will say its sick and a disgrace what you did but you probably like me will think its more sickening and disgraceful to behave the way they do and feed you with such negativity. I myself had an abortion although my story is allot diffrent to yours when i posted my story on here I had some awful comments that really did upset me and make me second what I had done ... I actually ended up tellin my mum what I had been through and showed her the comments I had recieved and she pointed out to me that whilst these people are all pro life and against abortion why are they willing for forgive you if you regret what you do?? If you say u made a mistake ... My answer was because they want my grief to back up that they think there veiws are 100% right and everyone should think the same way ... I'll never regret I'll always feel guilty but if we regret wat we did then surely we made a wrong decission?<br />
No one knows you personally and no one knows what your life is like ... a few vicious words on a website is nothing but an entertaining evening for these people. After all you have been through these comments are all you need but just think .... What sort of a life have these sad people got if they are so anti abortion yet love nothing better than to read womens stories about abortion then leave a nasty comment,<br />
There are some people on here who genuinly care and are here to support you just try n take advice from people who know what your feeling and what you went through not people who want to make you hate yourself.<br />
Take care and look after yourself xxx

You know, it;s one thing to be pro abortion but to be so completely disrespectful to people who are against it as another all together. I'm not asking anyone to beg forgiveness about having an abortion. It just makes me sick to see it taken so lightly. Especially when the reason not to keep the child is made to look selfless when, in reality, adoption would be the right cause. I understand someone wanting to have an abortion. What i don't understand is someone who is so unbelievably disrespectful to the life of their own child that they don' even CONSIDER adoption. I mean, come on. If they didn't want the kid they could give it to a nice couple who did. Abortion is just the easy way out. The thought process is "why be pregnant for 9 months and the give it up if i can just chop it up and suck it out" i just hate very much to see someone take a life so lightly

Hey Tropical! I have flagged each and every one of these people. You deserve respect and we TRUE members here will always back you up!

well maybe it depends on how you deal with it and what support you had, i know i made the right decision and only wrote this to support others going through the same thing!

Hey tropical..I'm new to experienceproject but I do want to share something with you. I went thru what you went thru a month ago about 2 years ago. I was so worried and didnt know what to do so me and my boyfriend at the time thought it was best to get an abortion. He didn't really want to but for my stake because of my religion and my family we went along with it. That day of the abortion all i could think about was getting rid of it because of my family ( please no one comment to this I know what I did was terrible) and I NEVER gave a thought that in the long run it would really affect me emotionally for the rest of my life. I just wanted you to know that eventhough ur story shows that it wasnt hard or as terrible as people said....Im sorry to say but the aftermath years from now will be torture. It's like your living in hell and it keeps being replayed in your head. What's done is done but I had to share that with you

**** YOU ALL WITH THE NEGATIVE COMMENTS! you have no idea what my situation was or what i was feeling so i suggest you keep your opinions to yourself! if you dont like it, why read it?! its a support group you ******* idiots!<br />
thank you every one for the support and people who KNEW what i went through xxxx

I do not consider myself christian for I am chatholic but I probably read the bible more than you do, "reborn1976" and hey you know what that female did kill an innocent life, but does it say in the bible "Kill an innocent life if you cannot take care of it?" Huh does it, if it does sorry but I didn't read that part. Yes God is the only person to judge but you know what else, the Ten Commandments, one of them say, "Thou shall not kill." Does it say, "Thou shall kill an innocent life?" No it doesn't. That dumb female killed her unborn child, she is a murderer............

Hey U "reborn1976," for your information i have sex but you know what else. I do know what the consequences are, unlike some people. If you have sex you are bound to get pregnant so did you ever hear of abstinence, of course you didn't, you should look it up, immediately. I was 20 years old when I had my son, but you know what, my life is a lot better because he changed my life around. So I despise people who get abortions, and that female who got an abortion, is a disgrace. She took an innocent life because that innocent life that she took, was helpless, could not talk to tell het how much it hurt to be torn away piece by piece, that child could not tell her that so she took advantage of it. How can you be so evil and cruel, you are so heartless. "& u "reborn1976," someone's got a guilty conscious, you can tell you have done this before, you are so sick, WTF is wrong with you people?

Hey girl..... I can't imagine what you went thru but only you know what is best for you!!! don't put your self thru that experience again and use other forms of contreception if the pill didn't work... Good Luck k your not a bad person... Its all part of life.

People. this group is not for your opinions. It is a support group. Respect that please.. some of you could be banned for what you said.

I don't pity you, I don't judge you.<br />
<br />
how dare any of those who have judged her in such manners...If you don't understand personally its wise to be kind not crude.<br />
<br />
I had an abortion and I am fine with my choice. I am graduating college I am moving forward. Just because one thinks it sounds easy doesn't mean it didnt mean anything to the person, it just means they are solid in their decision. That is an amazing thing, not something to be criticized. How dare anyone be so cruel (kay in particular). <br />
<br />
Tropical you did nothing wrong. You made a choice for yourself, and you followed through with it keeping a strong stance on it. You did not doubt yourself and that is a good thing. I completely understand you and have been in your shoes. You are so very strong, and certainly someone to look up to for that strength. You will do great things for sure.<br />
<br />
Please ignore those who have no respect or class here. They are severely misguided and/or just plain rude. If you ever need anything at all don't hesitate for a moment! <br />
<br />
(((HUGS))) <br />
<br />
hae

I feel for the fetus, you know what God knew your baby even before it was concieved, he had a plan for that one. But you took that away from him. If I were you I'd be praying for fogiveness. *cries for the baby*

So....unique and all you other judgementals out here? You're trying to tell us you've never had sex without the immediate thought of the consequences going through your heads??! Puh-lease! I don't believe you! Maybe I'd believe that you've never had sex! Over what you're trying to proclaim. You're probably considering yourselves as "christians" but your not the ones who judge everyone else. God is.