I Had An Abortion

I got pregnant on the pill three times. I wasn't married at the time. I didn't have an abortion for any of my pregnancies, but I am not in even passable circumstances financially, so I've been struggling trying to get my kids what they need and want. Certain people, such as those religious @ssholes who keep telling everybody not to get an abortion, have said "If you don't have the money to raise a kid, then keep your legs shut! Your brats are a drain on the economy!" Please let me point out: 1)even people who can't afford birth control want to have sex because it is free and non-taxable 2)some of us get pregnant on birth control 3)some of us are raped 4)the church keeps telling women we'll go to hell if we have an abortion 5)the republicans and the church want women to know as little as possible about sex and their bodies so that they have less choices and no power. So the need for birth control is real but effectiveness and availability is not guaranteed, and abortion is condemned but the women who have unplanned pregnancies are blamed, cursed and humiliated!
So these fools are attacking from both sides. We are all damned if we do and damned if we don't. I wish my mother had aborted me, so that I wouldn't have been molested by my drunk psycho father, but she had me anyway because she had been brainwashed by religious dogma. My childhood was unbelievably violent, horrible, and I'm shocked I even survived. You were brave, so regret nothing. When and if you finally decide to have kids, they will be the better for it when you are able to give them every advantage possible. You took precautions--they didn't work--you did what you had to do. Let it go.

I am responding mainly because of the spectrum of responses below to which I want to add my two cents.
To anyone reading this, I acknowledge that it is a tough decision to make - whether to carry a child to term and give it up for adoption or to abort it. The easier decision ultimately seems to be to abort, because we don't have to think what happens next and it seems we can continue life as it is.
But I think whether or not you are religious, every woman facing abortion ultimately faces up to the reality that it is a life she is dealing with. The next question is however perhaps the inability in the present circumstances to take care of the child and give it the life it deserves. But we cannot know what life with the child would have been like, unless we have been parents before, or what kind of life it could have had (had it been adopted).
So for all those who are considering an abortion, I would like you to consider giving it a chance at life. What it makes of that life we do not know - but instead of the pessisimistic picture of a horrible future, it can also be a happy one. What we do know is that it will not, if it is snuffed out.

But for those who have undergone abortion, I hope at least, you will carry the child in your heart, so at least there was one person who remembers it. I imagine it cannot have been pleasant and I don't blame you for the decision, for I understand the hopelessness and desperation (for those who felt this way) - I have been there - and I imagine it is worse when you are so young . But all that can be done now is to take the lesson to be more careful in future and not to repeat it again. Let not our children pay for our carelessness or inability to bear the consequences of our actions. None of us (whether pro choice or pro life) really supports abortion.

why are most of you hateful you don't know how it is and what there story is so most of you should mind your own business.

im sorry but you killed someone. you killed a human being. its not right at all.

My son is adopted. I thank God every day his birth mother did not make the decision you did. He is the joy of my life.

Everyday it is happening in my country....Tropical.This time do it right....start a wonderful family with a responsible man!Abortion is not easy...You feel so down.Later if you can't concieve...you will be even more guilty.Life is short...move on from this mistake forgive yourself and find real love,right?

Thou shall not kill says God you couldve placed that baby for adoption. God had a plan for that baby . abortions is not a birth control . just being honest

This is something I really needed to hear, kudos to you girl. I'm currently debating on either doing the pill abortion or the surgical.. I don't want to feel invaded but at the same time I don't want it to be along process :(

Thank you so much for posting this, after hearing your story I know now more than ever that I'm doing the right thing.

Thank you so much for sharing your story, this is exactly what i needed to hear, not a biased tale written by a pro life group. Thank you for the support.

Tropical, don't listen to the negative comments. You did what you thought was best. I support your decision. All of these negative comments are coming from people who are not only ignorant to your situation but they do not know you. I also don't see any of them lining up to take care of anyone's child. Furthermore, look at what they are doing. They are so insecure with their beliefs that they have to go onto a support group website to trash women they've never met nor care to understand. If they were secure in their beliefs they would not be doing this. You are strong. You are brave. Don't ever hang your head in shame. God gives us challenges to show us how strong we are and to give us a purpose. Your purpose was to share your story and maybe bring light to those "good Christians" who cast hypocritical judgement on you. Stay strong girl. <3

kittiskattis, a fetus can not feel pain in a first trimester abortion...iy doesn't have nerves developted,,if someones destroys your nerves in a certain area you will not feel there...an abortion is sad, because a fetus can become a baby, but also is not 100% percent sure, there is a chance of 25% miscarriage also so in first trimester pregnancy..When i had my abortion 4 weeks, i did because of medical condition and teh father did not wanted the possible baby, i was going to take the risk, but my cons where more than my pro, also i was starting to have miscarriage symptoms, i decided to have an abortion as soon as possible because i did not wanted to wait longer than 4 weeks, and the chances the possible baby can come with a high probability of health problems, and me also having them, i have some tumors..But althought no matter the reason medical or not , an abortion hurts.. I never saw the sonogram, did not wanted to, the doctor just told me it was like 4 weeks, i dont know if they where twins, if there was a heart beat....I feel sad, i regret it sometimes, thinking o should have taken the risk, but who would adopt if teh baby come with problems with the 50%, the father did not want the baby in anyway, because he just dumped me after because he was engaged and i did not know it.. It was very hard for me all these situation, loosing the possible baby, my health, the baby possible health and a unloving father who played with me...I will always feel sad, because in my heart i wanted him and in that time i loved the father, i feel empty, and know checking my tumors, i decide not to have children becaus eof my condition i dont want to go tru another abortion, miscarriage....But in a future you can have a baby and your other baby will be in heaven waiting for you...

I had a surgical abortion yesterday. I am an emotional wreck. The IV medicine didn't start kicking in until after the procedure so I remember and felt EVERYTHING. I had absolutely NO idea what an abortion was until I was in the operating room. When they turned the suction machine on, causing tremendous pain, I was scared. It hurt so much and I wanted to scream. I wanted it to stop when suddenly i realized that there was a living, breathing child inside of me. They were killing my baby. The fetus is perfectly capable of feeling any kind of pain. I regret it so much. Think adoption. Not abortion.

As if it has brain activity at that point. If it does, there's no more activity than in a small animal. People kill and eat small animals all the time. If you can be so aggressively compassionate towards an embryo, you should be able to be aggressively compassionate towards animals, bugs, etc. Just because you can relate to its consciousness doesn't make it any more important than another living thing.

Tropical ... I wouldnt take what these haters say to heart they are just venting some anger in a way they can amuse themselves by attrecting attention... why else would they come on a site and read about womens experiences ... Allot of them will say its sick and a disgrace what you did but you probably like me will think its more sickening and disgraceful to behave the way they do and feed you with such negativity. I myself had an abortion although my story is allot diffrent to yours when i posted my story on here I had some awful comments that really did upset me and make me second what I had done ... I actually ended up tellin my mum what I had been through and showed her the comments I had recieved and she pointed out to me that whilst these people are all pro life and against abortion why are they willing for forgive you if you regret what you do?? If you say u made a mistake ... My answer was because they want my grief to back up that they think there veiws are 100% right and everyone should think the same way ... I'll never regret I'll always feel guilty but if we regret wat we did then surely we made a wrong decission?

No one knows you personally and no one knows what your life is like ... a few vicious words on a website is nothing but an entertaining evening for these people. After all you have been through these comments are all you need but just think .... What sort of a life have these sad people got if they are so anti abortion yet love nothing better than to read womens stories about abortion then leave a nasty comment,

There are some people on here who genuinly care and are here to support you just try n take advice from people who know what your feeling and what you went through not people who want to make you hate yourself.

Take care and look after yourself xxx

Hey Tropical! I have flagged each and every one of these people. You deserve respect and we TRUE members here will always back you up!

well maybe it depends on how you deal with it and what support you had, i know i made the right decision and only wrote this to support others going through the same thing!

Hey tropical..I'm new to experienceproject but I do want to share something with you. I went thru what you went thru a month ago about 2 years ago. I was so worried and didnt know what to do so me and my boyfriend at the time thought it was best to get an abortion. He didn't really want to but for my stake because of my religion and my family we went along with it. That day of the abortion all i could think about was getting rid of it because of my family ( please no one comment to this I know what I did was terrible) and I NEVER gave a thought that in the long run it would really affect me emotionally for the rest of my life. I just wanted you to know that eventhough ur story shows that it wasnt hard or as terrible as people said....Im sorry to say but the aftermath years from now will be torture. It's like your living in hell and it keeps being replayed in your head. What's done is done but I had to share that with you

**** YOU ALL WITH THE NEGATIVE COMMENTS! you have no idea what my situation was or what i was feeling so i suggest you keep your opinions to yourself! if you dont like it, why read it?! its a support group you ******* idiots!

thank you every one for the support and people who KNEW what i went through xxxx

I do not consider myself christian for I am chatholic but I probably read the bible more than you do, "reborn1976" and hey you know what that female did kill an innocent life, but does it say in the bible "Kill an innocent life if you cannot take care of it?" Huh does it, if it does sorry but I didn't read that part. Yes God is the only person to judge but you know what else, the Ten Commandments, one of them say, "Thou shall not kill." Does it say, "Thou shall kill an innocent life?" No it doesn't. That dumb female killed her unborn child, she is a murderer............

Hey U "reborn1976," for your information i have sex but you know what else. I do know what the consequences are, unlike some people. If you have sex you are bound to get pregnant so did you ever hear of abstinence, of course you didn't, you should look it up, immediately. I was 20 years old when I had my son, but you know what, my life is a lot better because he changed my life around. So I despise people who get abortions, and that female who got an abortion, is a disgrace. She took an innocent life because that innocent life that she took, was helpless, could not talk to tell het how much it hurt to be torn away piece by piece, that child could not tell her that so she took advantage of it. How can you be so evil and cruel, you are so heartless. "& u "reborn1976," someone's got a guilty conscious, you can tell you have done this before, you are so sick, WTF is wrong with you people?

Hey girl..... I can't imagine what you went thru but only you know what is best for you!!! don't put your self thru that experience again and use other forms of contreception if the pill didn't work... Good Luck k your not a bad person... Its all part of life.

People. this group is not for your opinions. It is a support group. Respect that please.. some of you could be banned for what you said.

I don't pity you, I don't judge you.



how dare any of those who have judged her in such manners...If you don't understand personally its wise to be kind not crude.



I had an abortion and I am fine with my choice. I am graduating college I am moving forward. Just because one thinks it sounds easy doesn't mean it didnt mean anything to the person, it just means they are solid in their decision. That is an amazing thing, not something to be criticized. How dare anyone be so cruel (kay in particular).



Tropical you did nothing wrong. You made a choice for yourself, and you followed through with it keeping a strong stance on it. You did not doubt yourself and that is a good thing. I completely understand you and have been in your shoes. You are so very strong, and certainly someone to look up to for that strength. You will do great things for sure.



Please ignore those who have no respect or class here. They are severely misguided and/or just plain rude. If you ever need anything at all don't hesitate for a moment!



(((HUGS)))



hae

I feel for the fetus, you know what God knew your baby even before it was concieved, he had a plan for that one. But you took that away from him. If I were you I'd be praying for fogiveness. *cries for the baby*

So....unique and all you other judgementals out here? You're trying to tell us you've never had sex without the immediate thought of the consequences going through your heads??! Puh-lease! I don't believe you! Maybe I'd believe that you've never had sex! Over what you're trying to proclaim. You're probably considering yourselves as "christians" but your not the ones who judge everyone else. God is.

Tropical, Try not to be hurt by those who only post in an attempt to make you feel bad about the very mature choice that you made. You made the right decision for you and your situation. Try your best to be at peace with you decision.

I do agree with "katiekayy" that was a selfish thing to do. You couldn't take care of your child, so you just kill it. Oh that is so f***ed up, I believe that every child has the right to live a life. If you weren't ready to be a mother, then why spread your legs. Birth control isn't always 100% safe from you getting pg. If you don'twant to get pg, or raise a child, did you ever hear of abstinence. JUST DON'T HAVE SEX, BECAUSE SEX DOES MAKE BABIES YOU SELFISH EGOTISTICAL MORON...

I feel sad for you! I am not going to judge you in any way shape or form...it is your body and you have the right to do as you please with it...I am glad you chose a better form of contraception as the pill did not work for you. I myself understand abortion, I myself had one but unfortunately for me it was not by choice...I had to have a theraputic abortion because I was very ill. I will never forget that day...lucky for you, you were under anesthesia as I was not, I couldn't be put under because I have severe asthma and being that I was very sick with pnuemonia they said it would be to risky for me to go under...so they strapped down my arms and legs and I felt everything going on, it was the most traumatic thing I have ever been through!! I hope no one ever has to experience what I had to endure....it is something that I think about all the time, and eventually it will play on your mind as well. I wish you well today, tomorrow and in your future!

now that is true MandyLee...thanks for sharing your story tropical!