Just Took The Abortion Pill
I barely know what to say or how to start, but I'm grateful there's a place I can write about this, because I can't on my Facebook or public blog.
Anyway, the pain from the cramping after those four pills dissolved in my mouth was excruciating, and I kept vomiting and vomiting. Basically, I thought I'd die, but thank god a roommate of mine had taken the pill too, and she said "once you start bleeding, the pain will decrease drastically."
She was right. About ten minutes later...approximately an hour and a half or two hours after I dissolved the pills in my mouth, the bleeding started and the cramps just turned into BAD cramps that I would experience during a regular period.
HERE'S WHERE I SCREWED UP: I didn't take the Tylenol Codeine that the clinic was SUPPOSED to give me. I was hesitant because I'm an ex-alcoholic, sober now, who didn't want to play around with anything narcotic. Well, I'm a fool. If you are about to do this, just make sure you have heavy-duty pain meds, and if you're sober, just have someone else administer them to you.
Anyhoodle, once the tissue started passing, I felt much much better.
But I'm screwing around online looking for images of 6 1/2 week year-old fetuses...which is how far along I was, out of morbid and masochistic curiosity.
Truth is, I'm a total pro-choice feminist, but it still leaves me with sadness to reflect on the loss of a potential baby. I can't help it. But that's the thing...I don't think anyone is "Pro-Abortion" per se, we're just pro-doing what's best for the woman. There's NO WAY I could take care of a child, OR even weather a pregnancy!
I'm single, 31, newly sober, and just trying to get my life together. If I had all the money in the world, a plush life, didn't have to work, and had health insurance and yada yada, sure! I'd have gone through with the pregnancy.
It was painful, a hard choice to make, but it was worth it in the end. I just didn't want to bring a kid into this world I couldn't care for...and then pawn it off to other people. That would wound it too. Well, in my opinion anyway.
What a mess. But thankfully, I had a choice. And, though I'm not thrilled about the whole process, though I'm not "happy" about it, I don't regret it at all.