I Had An Abortion..

My now ex, but still my soulmate went to Vegas at the end of November. That's where I conceived... I knew I was pregnant a week and 4 days after conceiving because  I woke up one morning and I looked 5 months preg. I'm 5'2" 115 lb- I have a flat stomach.. so how did my ex not believe me that I thought I was preg? He loved my stomach and would touch it all the time! How could he not see a difference within my flat stomach to this huge stomach?! I took a bunch of tests which all came out negative... I was sooo confused. My ex and I broke up and I took a test a week later which came out positive!  I called my ex and told him, he came over right away- I took 3 tests in front of him all diff kinds and they all came out positive. He was freaking out in a good way, he was SOOOO excited to be a dad and called everyone to tell them I was preg. We got back together...and we were both so excited to have this baby. Well the next day (Sunday) he broke up with me..it was the hardest thing to deal with especially being pregnant. I went back and forth with abortion, adoption or keeping it. My family told me to get an abortion because I am only 22, I had lost my job..was barely surviving on my own- how am I supposed to have a child? My ex said keep it or adoption. I didn't know what to do..I thought about it for weeks and abortion was the best option for me.. my ex took me to every baby appt I had and was very supportive with my decision on abortion even though him and his family are totally against it. He took me to the clinic at 6 weeks 3 days and I had my operation.. I woke up from the anesthia feeling like a peice of ****..but knowing I made the right decision. I still felt so bad about myself. After the operation, he took me home..we layed in bed together and I told him I was sorry for killing his first child...and he said "I took part in it too"... I felt better knowing how supportive he really was..  but anyways it's been a little over a month since I got it done, and not a day goes by that I don't think about it.. My roomate/bestfriend is 6 months preg and her stomach is huge... its really hard to look at her after everytihng I went through. I told her ever since we were little I'd never get an abortion and she told ME she would get an abortion if she got preg... ha well the tables turned and we switched positions I guess.. anyways leave comment

thatgirlx0x0 thatgirlx0x0
22-25, F
3 Responses Feb 12, 2010

He did but he really wanted it to be honest, I wanted it too but had so many people to think about how it would effect and was mentally ill with ante-natal depression, second time we both agreed it wasn't a good thing to be doing with the state of our relationship and finances. I just hope we get another chance. We are still together but he finds it hard to be happy when the perfection we had at first has been ruined. I think to think of that saying, 'True perfection has to be imperfect.'

Hi Putty- I am so sorry you've had to go through that. It messed up the relationship with you and your soulmate? Did he not agree with abortion?

Hi, I have killed the first and the second child of my soulmate, I finally gave in to fate and planned a pregnancy and then miscarried at 7 weeks, I don't know what to think anymore, all I know is that it's all really messed up the best relationship of my life.