Dumped And Dumped

I'm going to have an abortion tomorrow and my boyfriend of 6 years decided that he was no longer in love with me.  Now I'm newly single and am about to go through this experience, and while I know in my heart, especially now, that I'm making the right choice I just feel awful.  To make matters worse his stepmother, who is very religious, found out about the ordeal and decided that we were making the wrong choice and called my family about it. She's continually calling and attempting to guilt me into keeping the baby, telling me that I'm going to go to hell for this decision and that it's not Gods plan.  I'm feel terribly alone and helpless and I don't know what to do to make myself happy again after tomorrow. I'm only 23 and I've weighed every option in my situation.  I just feel a lack of support in my entire life...

goonies7 goonies7
22-25, F
7 Responses Mar 1, 2010

thank you so much for all of your comments. It really helped a lot to hear from people who have been through something similar

I had one when i was in my senior year of college i had no job my boyfriend helped me pay for it I was about to graduate and go to graduate school and i am in graduate school now but i still have yet to find a job and as soon as i do i need to save money to move out. For me it was not the time for me to have a child i couldn't even care for myself and im still getting there, but i personally felt awful cause it was a complete accident i was on birth control and still got pregnant but having it was the best thing i could have done given the situation i was in. i couldn't bring a child into this world and not be able to rase it or even just afford pay my hospital bill from delivering...... <br />
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everyones reasons are real and valid so at the end of the day its best for you in the long run and guess what god forgives and gods love is endless, people on the other hand not so much. tell that to the stepmom.<br />
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you know its not her life or her choice or her say shes not even the boys real mom what right does she have telling you about having someones child whos not standing by your side in your time of need. I never told my parents just my boyfriend and the reason why is it was my decision and he was the only one i wanted to hear an opinion from. Keep that in mind if her step son left you shes no longer part of your life either. She shouldn't try to manipulate something that will effect your future but sadly she did anyway, shes only human as are we all. <br />
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i hope you update the situation if you need any support feel free to private message me or just post again thats why this is here :) i wish you all the best

Dear Goonies7,<br />
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I hope you will follow-up on this story and tell us how things went and how you are feeling. The very best of good wishes for you.<br />
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I'm sorry you have to go through this experience alone. It's a hard thing to go through. You sound like you're sure this is the choice for you. If you're still feeling alone & helpless after the abortion I would suggest going to see a counselor. The <b>only</b> regret I have about my abortion is that I didn't seek counseling afterward. I think it would have taken away that lonely feeling that I had. Now years later, I now look back and I am proud of myself for making the hardest decision of my life and doing what was right for me at the time. I hope everything works out for the best for you.

I am a pro-choice voter. I feel a woman must have domain over her own body. I really wish the pro-life people would spend more time touting contraception. Abortion is not an easy choice, but often it is a necessary one, as in your case. The world is full of children without functioning families. Children without guidence become a problem for all society. Abortion is a very responsible choice, you have not made this decision lightly.<br />
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I would never say the world needs more abortions, but until contraception is a universal product that is as common as toothpaste, mouthwash, deoderant, and the like, (and as easy to use) we are going to have accidental pregnancies and one very thoughtful and responsible, albeit difficult, response is abortion.<br />
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I support you and I'm sure every pro-choice voter supports you. Remember all the reasons you chose this road and never look back feeling that it was a mistake.

Hi there. <br />
I had an abortion in June '09. I feel for you so much, to have to do this alone and that the father is selfish enough to put you through a break-up during this time. You are making a hard decision that is right for you. You should not feel shame or blame in that! I myself, would do the same in your shoes. When I have children I want the father and I to be together and in love. If that is what you envision for yourself, why take that away on account of guilt. <br />
It is a very difficult decision and it is heartbreaking for the first bit, so find someone you can talk to.. get it all off your chest and find closure.. otherwise it bites you later. I was lucky to have a close group of friends and my boyfriend to support my decision, that now, months later, I feel no regret and still stand strong that the decision I made was the best decision for me.<br />
If you in your heart know that you are not ready, than you are not ready. You do not have to force yourself to have a baby because a crazy lady is telling you that you will end up in hell. First of all, as a catholic and coming from a very religious family, she has no right and she is sinning by forcing that BS down your throat. "Let him without sin cast the first stone", she as a human being should not be lecturing your or condemning you. Ignore her crazy antics and always make the decision right for you. You are not going to go to hell, you are going to be fine and carry on with your life.. If you do believe in God you must know that God is not hateful or vengeful. God as we are taught, is forgiving and patient. <br />
I hope that everything goes well and if you ever need someone to talk to or vent to about your experience please feel free to contact me!

I'm not concerned about medical expenses and I'm also offended that you would say if I think my baby would have birth defects to give it up. I work 3 jobs all with children with special needs and if I'm pregnant I can see myself having a hard time completing the tasks I do on a regular basis. Thanks for your comment but this is not at all the support I need. If I'm going to have a baby, it's going to be mine...