I Was Scared To End Up Like My Mother

It´s only been a few weeks and I feel completely lost and confused, but I know I´ve made the right choice. I barely knew the father´s name. It was a completely stupid drunk one-night stand. I hate myself for doing that, I should´ve known better. I was ´raised´ by a single mother who has always hated me for ruining her life. She was abusive and died of a drug overdose when I was only nine years old. I thought I had managed to escape from my past, but when I found out I was pregnant it was like everything caught up with me again. I didn´t want history to repeat itself. I´d probably be just like her. I wouldn´t want my child to be as unhappy I was and end up as screwed up as I am now. I knew I had to do it, but it still hurts so much.. I haven´t told anyone and pretending everything´s fine is really breaking me.  I wish it was all just a bad dream..

LivviSuza LivviSuza
26-30, F
1 Response Mar 10, 2010

Things will get easier with time. I had a hard time right after my abortion, but it has been over 3 years now and I know that I made the right choice.