A Story Of Guilt

I became pregnant at the age of 17. I used 2 forms of birth control and both managed to fail. I wanted to keep my first child, but my medications for my bipolar disorder made that impossible. Not only woould i be a mother at 17, but the mother of a special needs child. WIth only a 25% birthrate and a 75% chance of miscarrage, I chose to terminate. I went into this procedure unwilling, and 3 days after thanksgiving i went to the clinic. This experience was the worst i have ever had, worse than the sexual abuse i was exposed to as a child, worse than being diagnosed bipolar at 14, worse than anything. I hated myself the moment i made the decision, and here, 4 months later i am still in this rutt. Im not sure what I need, i guess i need to know that other people feel the way i do. Scared, lonely, heartbroken, and shattered. 

mediocrecharacter mediocrecharacter
18-21, F
Mar 13, 2010