I Don't Know What To Do..

I'm am 18yrs old and pretty sure that i'm pregnant... I've been with my boyfriend for 4mths and love him more than anything but we're not ready for a baby. its really hard because our morals regarding abortion are hugely diffrent, he has absolutely no problem with aborting the pregnancy (he says that the cons such as financial burden, not being ready to be a dad, he suffers from depression and says the stress of having a baby would put him back in hospital, and the stress it would have on our relationship far outweigh the pros of keeping the baby) i don't think he realises that regardless of the decision it going to put huge strain on our relationship.. I'm only just back on speaking terms with my family and know that telling them i'm am pregnant would ruin any respect they have for me.. I don't have anyone i can go to for advice its really depressing.. i dont know what i want but i do know that if i'm going to choose abortion i want it as early along in the pregnancy as possible. Before all of this i was pro-life, i am quite a religeous person and feel terible guilt... aaarrrggghhh i just wish i knew what to do... Someone please help me :(

neverbeensosadandunsure neverbeensosadandunsure
18-21, F
9 Responses Mar 24, 2010

So anyway 3 weeks later my period finally came, i never did take a pregnancy test probably because i was scared of how real it would make things if it turned out to be positive.<br />
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I can say though that this has definately been a positve experiance for me and my boyfriend, we ended up decieding that if i was pregnant we were going to keep the baby (as he recently got a very good paying job and we now had his mothers support) he was actually quite excited about it, i feel like we're alot closer now we have a better understanding of eachothers morals and dreams. <br />
The reason i think he wanted me to have an abortion was because he was scared more than anything else but he did support me through the emotional rollarcoster that i went through and assured me that everything was going to be ok no matter what happened, he wiped away my tears and did everything he could to make me more at ease with the situation.<br />
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Any way we're going to be alot more careful in the future and i am happy this happened because if i actually end up getting pregnant to my boyfriend i know i have his support and that he will be there no matter what.<br />
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Good luck to you all and hope you all have great happiness in the future, take care..

I'm glad you feel a bit more at peace with your decision. Hopefully because of that you'll relax and your period will make an appearance. Stress can delay it. I went 2 weeks without my period after losing my virginity. I took a test it came up negative and the next day I had my period. Always the way!<br />
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Either way I wish you luck for the future.

Thank you to everyone who's commented.. i've been thinking about it alot and i really want to look into adoption as i know i'm not ready for a baby and i also know i'm not ready to be a mum, i can bearly look after myself let alone a baby and it woul be very selfish of me to try and bring up a child when i couldn't give it everything it deserved. I know it'll be very hard emotinally either way but even the thought of abortion makes me cry, i've haven't slept in 2 days and been pretty much crying for 3days straight and thats just because of the thought i don't know how i would cope if i actually had an abortion. At least if i adopted it out it would give the baby a chance at a life.. This whole dilema has really opened up my eyes i used to be so judgmental of women that have had abortions but now my heart just really goes out to them its got to be the hardest choice they've ever had to make and also i have a great respect for young mothers its a very brave choice for them to decide to raise the child that would be extremly tough. As for my boyfriend he said he will support me no matter what desion i make and even if he doesn't i know i'm strong enough to do it on my own.. I know going on with the prenancy will have a big impact on my body (pointed out by my bf) but an abortion would have an even bigger negative, emotional impact on my mind. I just need to do whats right for me no matter what anyone else thinks because in the end it the desion I will have to live with for the rest of my life.. Thanks again everyone more comments on this post would be great.. Take care xox

Take a pregnancy test as in the end of the day this could be all a lot of worry for no real reason. If your not pregnant start being a bit more careful. If you can't risk getting pregnant you should use condoms AND birth control.<br />
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If you are you need to think carefully. Don't let anyone sway your decision or make you feel guilty for making a certain choice. Do you think this man would make a good father? Can you afford it? Do you have enough of a support system?<br />
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Don't let anyone make this choice for you. Remember you'll have to deal with most of the consequences.

Adoption isn't the right choice for everyone.

Please don't kill the baby as you don't want murder on your conscience,you've a long life ahead..Consider adoption as there are many people wanting to adopt.You obviously have a computer so Google Birthright and they can help you( great group of people)Wish you the best..

Tell the boy that since he knows that he can't afford to raise a family. He should learn to keep it in his pants until he can. So he don't have a bunch of 18 year old girls running around killing babies because of his lack of responsibility. Now you, you should be a little wiser in the decisions you make. <br />
Don't you know better than to have sex when you arent ready. Do you and him only think of yourselves? and not that your little bit of selfish pleasure may lead to having to abort a baby. Grow up and learn to be responsible for your actions.

Please think about what you are going to do I just had an abortion 8 days ago and it was the worst thing i could have ever done I regret it form the time i get up till i go to sleep.Look at pictures of aborded babies at any stage they are ripped apart i wish i had before i Murdered my babies.I was 8 wks along with twins.I thought I was stong enough to handle what I was doing but now I am a big ball of walking tears.ITs YOUR CHOICE AND YOU ARE GOING TO BE THE ONE TO LIVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH YOUR CHOICE NO ONE ELSE.

I was in a dilemma like you, pregnant not knowing what to do, religious background and an un-supportive boyfriend.<br />
I decided to keep the baby, ended up splitting from the father. Its really hard sometimes. I look at single people and wish I enjoyed my single free time to travel and have fun. Now its alot of responsibility and being sensible. As my baby gets older, he's almost 2 now it getting easier to get a life again. I could never give him back or undo it though, I feel like my arm is missing without him now.<br />
On the flip side my sister had an abortion, she never ended up having children and still wonders what that child would of been like. How old it would be etc.<br />
But she says she never regrets her decision. She was able to travel and have a good life. <br />
I think you need to ask yourself what you want in life and make the best choice you can, then don't second guess yourself.