My Story Is Strange One....and A Long One

I married my husband in 2004, my affair started in 2008, I left my husband in we go.

My husband and I (I'll call him Charles) were swingers through the start of our relationship. Shortly after we were married he got a new job and I was immediately smitten with one of his coworkers (lets call him Jax). Charles had asked me then if there was anyone he worked with that I would want to sleep with, naturally I said Jax, a few months after this we moved out of state only to move back a year later. When we moved back home I heard Jax now had a girlfriend and I was crushed. Charles got his old job back so I started seeing Jax more, eventually I started texting him and after Charles let him know that I did infact have the hots for him our conversations got more fliratious and pervy. Jax would hang out at our house once a week usually and things progressed to us playfull teasing each other physically. Charles told both Jax and I that we had permission to sleep together but Jax was adamant about not cheating on his long distance girlfriend.

One night while Jax was at the house visiting things were a bit more serious between us then usual and after a few hours Charles decided to go to bed. One thing led to another and finally Jax and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards he headed home and started feeling rather guilty, Charles came to the conclusion that while he gave us permission he was no longer comfortable with it so we decided we would stop sleeping together, but still be friends. We still flirted and such through text message but said it wouldn't get physical again. A few weeks later Jax and I went to a movie, then back to his house...I'm sure you can imagine what happened there. It slowly evolved into just Jax and I seeing each other one night a week to "hang out and play video games" more often then not at his house, then to spending all day from abou 7am-4am together and that's how it stayed for a few months. Charles took a trip to Utah to visit family and asked Jax to stay with me at our house, we ended up falling asleep in each others arms and basically falling in love.

When Charles returned he seemed to be pushing Jax and I together. We would get into a fight so Charles would call Jax and tell him to come pick me up and put me in a better mood because I was mad at him. Everytime I was upset with Charles he would have Jax come over and pick me up. Of course neither one of us argued the idea. I started spending the night at Jax's house and eventually left Charles, not due to my affair, we were having issues before I ever slept with Jax.

Jax and I are still together and incredibly happy with our life. We both still feel though that Charles pushed us closer together...are we wrong?

ToxicPrincess ToxicPrincess
22-25, F
4 Responses Apr 28, 2010

I don't think you were wrong,I hope your happy

You sleeping with his coworker(even with his permission) certainly didn't help anything either. As a former therapist I can tell you that in my personal experience I've never once seen were a open relationship has ever worked out good for the couple in the long run.

Zizmane: I don't believe Charles was hurt, we both knew the relationship was coming to an end, we just hadn't ended it yet. It was a clean break, no fighting, or crying. If he was hurt he hid it rather well.

Don't kidd yourself he was hurt, I'm sure he thought you would have an affair with this guy anyway so he thought if he endorsed it you would be happy

you are not wrong by following your heart ... I am not even certain the Charles even cared about your relationship at all yet I still maintain a ground rule ... I do not do to others what I do not like being done to me .. period ! regardless if he pushed you or not ... it would've been better to end the relationship with Charles and same thing with Jax and his girlfriend before pursuing each other .... <br />
<br />
at the end of the day ... you live with the choices you make ... I hope Charles wasn't hurt .. not that I see how when it was obvious how he would push things .. as if he had a hidden agenda or wanted you to end it because he didn't know how ...