My Husband's Best Freind

I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split with his girlfreind, and was devastated. I reached out to him, and we started talking over the e-mail. It progressed over a few months to cybersex. I had a vacation coming up, aand was going to visit my daughter. He lived less than an hour away from her. I asked him if he would like to spend a couple of days with me, and we made plans for that weekend. I met hom at his new apartment, and we had some wine and talked. He was incredibly good looking, and so sweet and kind. We ended up having sex. It was the most amazing sex in my life. He could do things with his tongue that i have never felt in my life. Well, it was only a couple of days and one night, but he helped me to snap out of my pity party, and actually divorce my abusive husband. I kep in touch with him, and he has since gotten back together with his girlfreind. It was one of the best experiences of my life, and i do not feel guilty at all.
hotandcuddly hotandcuddly
51-55, F
41 Responses Sep 1, 2011

good that you don't carry any guilt. It was what you needed and it is over.

Lucky guy!

AWSUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Want to meet my tongue????

No excuse for cheating. Many women are abused but don't cheat.
This whole experience section is a pity party.

GREAT post!!!...And good for you for not carrying any guilt!!
It was exactly what you needed at that point in your life and you should never have any regrets!!!

He encouraged you to divorce your husband, and then he got back to his girlfriend??!
Sorry honey, I think you've been the big loser..
He used you..

Your correct she was used but she is happy and does not see it that way possibly will not till a few more have done the same thing.

He was your husband's best friend. I think you are not a good person for doing that , when there are so many guys that your husband doesn't know , around.

Good for you I'm glad you enjoyed your husbands a ****

Good on you and him. Xx

I understand where you are coming from my husband cheated on me so many times I cant even remember.I then cheated on him and even though the experience wasn't mind blowing it changed me forver.I went to my husband and admitted my wrong doing and we both came clean and decided our marriage deserved a fresh start.Not all people are bad people we just need trial and error.

Your a brave lady and you deserve all the happiness you have it is not making the mistake that counts it is how you rectify it
Best of luck

Sometimes affairs do sort out the conflicts of our souls. Especially when we are looking for direction. Go forward and lead a good life:)

Ur a horrible person!!!!! How could u?!?!?! I'm sorry I've been cheated on too and I've done nothing wrong and I know how it feels to be cheated on. Ur a bad person

Not u thewoman who made this story

Good for you!

A great story... And, good for you!!

its hard being in a horrid relationship, is your ex husband still friends with this man, did he ever find out what happened between you. i'm glad life worked out for you in the end now maybe you can go on to find some real happiness and i hope your husband realises what he has lost. best of luck

Well it sounded like a win, win thing you each helped the other and made a lifelong friend in the process.

You shouldve divorced your husband before going and sleeping with his best friend.

Good for you:)

This is not believable because of the glaring spelling error's

well, don't read it. real people make mistakes. if you are big on spelling, go to a website where you can critique everyone. it is true, every word. but you are the kind of person i do not waste my time trying to impresss. Yes i did not capitalize! Take that you spelling nazi!!

Been there, done that. And i'm not even guilty of doing it. Congrats to all the women who can stand for themselves!!! It's really not about's just about self-fulfillment.

Wow sound like fun !!

don,t feel guilty about anything.guilt is the great spiritual will teach lessons where we can learn and move on to better ourself

No reason to feel guilty - it was the push you needed to get you out of the situation you were in, and it was sexy too!

Life is just too damn short to be clouded with guilt. Good for you!

good for you... there is nothing like what some call forbiden love or sex. I too was in a similar situation where my wife was withholding any sort of passion. after a while i began to question my self worth. It took a friend of hers that started talking to me over the email and eventually ended up cybering. We had a hot romance and her passion in the bed and out was liberating. I nolonger have any doubts and we still correspond.

good for you. i do not know why people do not realize that it crushes self esteem to not feel desired. nothing like a little self esteem boosting sex!

I didn't realize how miserable I was during my first marriage until after I move out. It was tough but Things turned out much better afterwards. Good for you too!

It is so nice that you found you way through this friend. Please add me

I know sexual compatibility is so important. Once you have a relationship that has problems sexually you never want that to happen again.

I am a puritan and moralist. BUT...<br />
I say if you have no guilt for cheating your husband for he being a abuser, then he was a REAL abuser. Cheating a husband is something he hates so you were really angry with him.<br />
I had a verbally and emotionally abusing boss so I wont blame you for acting and talking of your husband with such (in my view) despise. He deserve it acording with what you said.<br />
Too bad you cant tell him that affair to him because of probable consequences. It would be enjoying to see him so furious for swallowing his insults and seeing you are no dormat.<br />
<br />
Besides the way he treated you shows lack of love and/or respect so I personally doubt he is the faithful kind. Another reason for not judging your case.

i appreciate you not being judgemental. the only reason i did not tell him was because i did not want to hurt the other man. he was so sweet and kind, and gentle with me, that i would not hurt him for anything in the world. the only thing my ex loved was my paycheck. and he certainly did not respect me in any way, shape or form.

He only loved your paycheck?...
Are you my former boss ex-wife? (lol)
My former boss also loved money: anyone who left the job because of constant abuses and insults and mockery were told by him "Are you leaving? So I wont pay nothing to you!".
Seems abusers are all alike.
Another reason to support you! ;)
Cheating is wrong but letting a moron treat you like crap is also wrong. Fighting back against a cruel person who should love you is worthy of praising. So congratulations! Not everyone has the pleasure of doing what you did. Nor capacity.
I should be jealous of you. ;)
Was your husband bald &amp; four-eyed? Like ex-boss?
I would like to know if they breed like cockroaches! :D

Your story sounds similar to mine, although I am still married (our marriage has always been fine, except for the sex part). It is liberating in that it sets your mind in a new direction. For me, it was finally getting the confirmation that I was a desirable person. It's been over 15 years since this happened, but the pleasure I was able to give and get still lifts my spirits when I'm feeling down.

maybe you need another refresher. i like to feel desirable, and it is so important to everyone to feel wanted

sounds like you just did what you felt was right at that time and thats the way to go, besides if it has left a wonderful memory isnt that nice, also probably no complications no guilt and a lot of positive energy in you................<br />
<br />
it was that spur of the moment thing that left you fullfilled and happy so let it be that way<br />
<br />

You or any woman should never have to be in a emotionally and verbally abusive relationship. No man should do that to a woman. But some do it to women because they are trying to be controling and to chick crap to go face up to a man. But I am glad that you are now on the right track and enjoying life to it fulliest. You are a amazing woman.

awwww. thank you. but to be honest, i had help from a very supportive therapist, who i saw for almosr a year before i had the courage to leave. i battled tremendous guilt in leaving. but i am sooo glad i did it!!!

You freed yourself, congratulations! I am not celebrating the end but the new beginning. There is in the way you express yourself a clarity that I really really like. I hope that you savor freedom and do not fall for another abuser. I myself would like to correspond with you as a friend.

i would love that. thank you for the inspiring words

Hi how are you.

It looks likeu got exactly what u needed to get out of that abusive marriage the affair was ur engine,good luck with ur new life.

She will do fine.

gud 4 u

Nothing like coming into your own. You can add me if you would like. And I you.

Yes, I know so well. I have been doing a series of stories that outline my experiences in life, and what they have meant to me, and my psyche :-)

isn't it? i didn't realize how much i was missing it. you know when you are denied for years, you turn that part of yourself off. it is kind of a shock when it gets turned back on again.

Tell me about it.

It is amazing what a couple of nights of great sex will do for one's psyche, and their body :-)