ConfusedI have been with my boyfriend for 3 and some years. In the beggining of the relationship he was unfaithful. It broke my heart but I tried to forgive him and move on. Our relationship never bounced back to what it once was because of it but we both tried to make the best of it. About 7 months ago we moved in together. Things were great at first but they slowly went downhill again. We never do anything together and we hardly talk to each other. On the rare occassion that we do go somewhere, he spends the day ogling other women and making it very obvious. I spoke to him and told him how much it bothers me, especially since he doesn't seem to have eyes for me at all. He said he would change but he keeps doing it. He went from being apologetic to actually blaming his actions on me, saying it's my fault and I shouldn't be so insecure. And by the way, by saying all this im not trying to in any way excuse what i'm doing.
Which brings me to where I am now..I met a guy through my work about a year ago. He came into my work a handful of times on business and we had some very pleasant conversations. He's a good looking guy but I never looked at him that way or felt an attraction back then. About 2 months ago he started talking to me more, called my job a few times asking for me. I really enjoyed talking with him, we seemed to have everything in common. He complimented me, made me feel like a woman. Long story short, we exchanged numbers and have gone out 4 times as friends. But last time we saw each other we kissed. No groping or anything, very G-rated stuff. As terrible as it sounds I enjoyed it and haven't been able to stop thinking about it. He knows i'm in a relationship, but he says he does not want to end this. He's been trying to get me to see him again but I havent because i'm nervous as to what may happen. I know how terrible this is, part of me says to end this as soon as possible and never speak to him again. But the other part says that I don't want to stop, that it feels too good. I feel like a horrible person.