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Confused

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and some years. In the beggining of the relationship he was unfaithful. It broke my heart but I tried to forgive him and move on. Our relationship never bounced back to what it once was because of it but we both tried to make the best of it. About 7 months ago we moved in together. Things were great at first but they slowly went downhill again. We never do anything together and we hardly talk to each other. On the rare occassion that we do go somewhere, he spends the day ogling other women and making it very obvious. I spoke to him and told him how much it bothers me, especially since he doesn't seem to have eyes for me at all. He said he would change but he keeps doing it. He went from being apologetic to actually blaming his actions on me, saying it's my fault and I shouldn't be so insecure. And by the way, by saying all this im not trying to in any way excuse what i'm doing.
Which brings me to where I am now..I met a guy through my work about a year ago. He came into my work a handful of times on business and we had some very pleasant conversations. He's a good looking guy but I never looked at him that way or felt an attraction back then. About 2 months ago he started talking to me more, called my job a few times asking for me. I really enjoyed talking with him, we seemed to have everything in common. He complimented me, made me feel like a woman. Long story short, we exchanged numbers and have gone out 4 times as friends. But last time we saw each other we kissed. No groping or anything, very G-rated stuff. As terrible as it sounds I enjoyed it and haven't been able to stop thinking about it. He knows i'm in a relationship, but he says he does not want to end this. He's been trying to get me to see him again but I havent because i'm nervous as to what may happen. I know how terrible this is, part of me says to end this as soon as possible and never speak to him again. But the other part says that I don't want to stop, that it feels too good. I feel like a horrible person.
billyjean85 billyjean85 22-25, F 5 Responses Oct 20, 2011

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All I can say is "you'll regrett it"

Forget about changing your guy... I think that's the most common factor in relationships that don't last. I know I've been there. Marriage with kids is hopefully at least until the kids are grown... think minimum 20 years. Is he good enough as he is now... you've been with him for 3 years... to live with for the next 20 years? That's your first question. It may be that the affair is actually forcing you to deal with this more important question.<br />
Max

I think that your 3 year relationship may well be coming to an end. It seems to me that the only thing that is holding you back from starting a new relationship is because you haven't got around to ending it with you b/f. Given you current situation and his attitude I don't see you and your b/f living happilly ever after. It may be a good time to call it a day.

i don't think dat u shud to giv another chanc to d guy.. U may enjoy it nw bt donno hw wil u feel about him tomorow. It seems dat u wer so serious about d guy dat time, n dis is hindering ur recent relatnshp bt 1ce u'r again cmmited wit d guy, d past wil bother u again.<br />
So test d guy(notic his reacn wen u hurt him, if he show anger or make u feel like u r nt dat much imp then move on) if he's realy REALY serious about u nw, nd wont do dat things again(dont go aftr what he say). Think positiv about ur recent relatnship nd dont compare it wid ur past.

youre very right crazydiva..the past is always gonna bother me. thanks for the reply!

Ok i don't know your relationship but is sounds as if your boyfriend treats you poorly. It's easy for me to say dump the bf and give the other guy a chance. But what do you really want? Can you see yourself having a future with your bf? Are you happy with him? Wish you luck :) x

thanks for reading corona :) .it's safe to say im not really happy in my relationship. I do love my guy but we just have very different ideas of how a woman should be treated. I do want a future with him, marriage, kids, but i just wish he would change. I dont have any feelings for the other guy but I do really like him. I've seen him a few more times recently but thats another story :)