Is It An Affair?

They say Rome wasn't built in one day. So is infidelity. I recently signed up at a local community college to take a course that would further my degree and increase my opportunity for employment. However, being married, handling kids and hubby proved to be a challenge. I needed help. There was a certain young man (lets call him Nick) in my class who was 22 years and fairly attractive. But i wasn't attracted to him. Over the next few weeks I got to know Nick. I learned that Nick was unmarried and single. He was a senior at the college, pursuing Pre-Med. I knew he was smart and well educated young man. When Nick and I talked, I mentioned to him about my situation. He felt sorry for me and decided to offer me help. The agreement was to meet twice a week, on campus, and go over the material with me. This was purely platonic relationship. I was happy with my marriage and wasn't looking.
The study sessions began. Accident or not, our fingers would touch each other, Or other times i could feel his thigh brush against mine. At first, I didn't make an issue out of it. But one day he did mention that, hypothetically speaking, if i were unmarried and single , he would date me. I thought he was just kidding. Over the next few weeks, he would try to massage me shoulder or rest his hand lightly on my thigh. This act kinda weirded me out. I found a way to quit this "study session".
I do have to add that it had been a while since I felt another man's touch. Nick's touch would send goosebumps all over my body. Maybe a part of me did like that contact. And another part me screamed, "Get OUT!"....I chose the latter.
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12 Responses Feb 27, 2012

No need for guilt. Every married man or woman will have a real temptation. It's what you chose to do that matters. It's okay to not be a friend, it doesn't mean he's an enemy - nor needs to be. I had several close calls during my 30 year marriage. I found in my early marriage I was attracted to women who resembled my wife. That makes sense, since I married that kind of woman. You could even say it's backward form of flattery. I also told my wife about my temptations. Nothing kills it better in my opinion. At first she didn't like it, but later appreciated it. You can't have an affair without secrets.

Good move. I think you did the right thing. Continue to be faithful to your husband. If/when you're no longer happy with him, move on. <br />
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Your body was just responding to normal human sexuality. No need to act on it. made your choice. :-)

How many guys have you had sex with?

I think he had planned all along to try and get you in bed, it's a good thing you were smart enough not to fall for it because the consequences wouldn't of been worth the affair.

No, you didnt have an affair.<br />
I think the sensations you felt were natural responses.<br />
Some people might consider a situation as "cheating" even if there was no actualy act of sex, if your thoughts were along those lines . . But yours weren't.

No, you didnt have an affair.<br />
I think the sensations you felt were natural responses.<br />
Some people might consider a situation as "cheating" even if there was no actualy act of sex, if your thoughts were along those lines . . But yours weren't.

That is good you choiced not to sleep with him. It was not affair. I know a lot of people who hang out with married women but some of them don't sleep with them ,they are just friends . But in the very deep dark place in the back of your mind do you wonder what if you had slept with that guy. Sounds like he was more then willing to put you as a noch on his bed post.You should have told your hubby about this guy flirting with you maybe he would get the hint to touch you more.

Hi jill - Life is short &, I think, should be lived to the fullest. Life is short but long-term relations can seem VERY LONG! When one becomes a parent, one agrees to a contract to BE a parent, as does one with a marriage contract. <br />
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If you enter into a relationship w/another person, if your motives are NOT for revenge or anger at your spouse, then I see it as your free choice. If it is for "pay-back" or for some other negative reason it will be self-destructive! If it is to experience something that YOU feel you want, if you don't neglect your kids' or your spouse's needs, then where lies the harm?<br />
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Done in "Truth" no harm shall befall ! <br />
Love is not a monopoly that your relationships have ANY "rights" to claim.<br />
If you choose to focus exclusively on your family, that is beautiful too!<br />
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In Love we Trust. Love is Truth. God is Love. <br />
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Thats quit crazy, how can you say love is not a monopoly? Are you married? Have you ever been married? Do you respect marriage vows? You sit here and tell someone that its ok if it is to experience something you want, wow shouldn't that be experienced with her husband? You sit here and talk about God being love, he is love but you need to read his commands on marriage. You are truly lost and I feel sorry for you!!!

Wouldn't call it an affair since you didn't really reciprocate by the sounds of it... Although he did try subtly (or not) to seduce you perhaps. Anyways, nothing in bad in enjoying somebody else's touch, reminds us that we're human, with bodies that can be touched, stroked, caressed and aroused.... Oops, i digress.... ;)

Sounds you did not know if it was right or wrong to quit ?

Do you think it was a fault to not sleep with him ? Is the profile pic showing you ?

Wow you look great !! Hope you add to see more of you and hear more about

not at all..since you decided to quit and get out of that scenario....