I Need To Hear It... I Feel Lost With My Choices

I am 45, married with 2 children, my marriage is good but I am not getting the attention I desire. I have spoken to my husband about this on many occasions but he refuses to admit there is an issue. I met a guy who is 10 years younger than me. He came on very strong knowing I was married. Of course, it was so flattering. I found him to be bold and very confident. He lives with a woman and has confessed to having an affair in the past. (who knows if it was only one affair) We became friends and flirted for quite some time, never engaging in anything but talk. We admitted liking eachother but he seemed adamant about not wanting to go further... that is unless I was planning on leaving my husband. Well, I was not leaving my husband for someone I hardly knew. I suggested we get to know eachother a little more. I guess you can say, I was the one who offered an affair as a solution. We meet maybe once a month but have only kissed, held hands, and talked. He still brings up when I will leave my husband but doesn't say much about leaving his gf? We have not had sex yet. I don't know if he is afraid of how much closer we he will feel to me once we are more intimate and is holding back. It's like I am on hold for when he will be ready to take it further. Does any of this make any sense to you?
BellaCosa BellaCosa
41-45, F
3 Responses May 22, 2012

Bella, it seems to me like you just chose the wrong guy. I have been in your shoes and struggled initially with the should I or shouldn't I do it. Let me tell you that there is nothing like the feeling of being WANTED as badly as you want them it is soooooo HOT!!!!! I have realized that it is not quantity but qaulity that makes the best affair. Trust me I am sure you will not have a problem finding a married guy in a similar situation that will desire you just as much as you him that will not require you to leave your current situation. If you live close it could be me :)

thanks dll40, maybe I am not cut out for it, you are right. I thought I might be strong enough to handle it but it doesn't matter where I turn I feel guilty. When we spend too much time together I feel like I should be home taking care of my family and when I am home with my family alot I feel I can't breathe without him. SCREWED UP :)

thanks tashaserenity, I am an idiot for sure.