I Don't Know What To Do.....

Ok so I had an affair on my fiancé of a almost a year with my best friend, who I've know since elementary school. I don't feel guilty or anything and I don't know why. I'm in love my best friend, let's call him Z, I've had feelings for him since senior year of high school and he feels the same way about me. I love my fiancé, L, but things have changed so much and I feel like he doesn't love as much as he use to and I don't like I love him like I use to either. We've been living together since we got together, I know stupid right? But he got kick out of his house and didnt have a place to go. We got engaged after four month, again stupid I know, but before that I was dating Z bu it was a long distance relationship and he was under a lot of stress because of schooling. L, who I had dated before, confusing I know, started coming around more and we were just hanging out as friends, he was trying to get back with his ex at the time, but that didn't work out and one thing lead to another and I broke it off with Z, which I regretted for a while but then I was starting to get over my feelings or at least pushing them away, fast forward about three months me and Z hang out while L is at work and the spark is still there we hit it off and we kiss. Nothing happens after that, we talk by not often. Fast forward to like last week, me and Z hang out again, L is out of town for the weekend. The spark is still there, now we are both seeing someone, as hard as we try we end up kissing and one thing leads to another and we have sex twice while L is out of town. L comes back and we have a talk about our relationship, I haven't told him about Z and I don't plan to, I have been feeling very forgotten and unhappy with L but when I'm with Z I'm always smiling and laughing. I get a call from Z the other night saying that his girlfriend, who he isnt happy with might be pregnant, now we where planning on getting back together once me and L break up, he just doesn't make me happy anymore but he wants a chance to change, but now I don't know what to do... I really love Z and I want to be with him but he's staying with her till he figures out what's going on and what he wants to do. I don't know if I should stay with L and wait or just leave or do nothing and act like this never happened.
xcassiexreneex xcassiexreneex
18-21, F
1 Response May 22, 2012

I agree with tasha.Run from L and live your life. IF you want to start a life with Z,then its your life. Ask Z if the baby is even his,she could be cheating on him. Just take your time