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I Had Affair, And Married My Lover.

To truely understand this story you have to know that I never intended to cheat.  

Instead of jumping all around, I will start in the beginning. My best friend had a baby die of SIDS at 4 mos.  It was the day of his birthday.  We both used narcotic pain pills occasionally to get high.  I had just moved back into my hometown.  We were looking for a fix.  With no luck, she brought up the name of a guy that had always openly had a huge crush on me (he's older, and ever since I could remember he'd try'd to date me)  I went to this guy here and there in order to buy me beer while I was underage and such.   He was known for always having dope, but would not sell it.

Of course she played the 'dead baby' and so here we were sitting in his living room..and of course being smitten with me, he broke out his stash.  I informed him that I moved less than a block away..He seemed happy.  After returning home to my wonderful fiance and baby daughter.  I told him, I had been at this guys house, and he was fine with it.  Well you have to know when your an oppiate addict with children, it's almost impossible to go without because you end up horribly sick.  So before long, I was at Jake's house regularly, and honestly at first all he was a connection.  But since he wouldn't sale me anything, to do it, I had to sit and hang out with him.  We had been spending time together regularly for almost 9 mos while I was planning my wedding to Richie..Before I knew it I had developed some strong feelings for him. 
  
Richie and I had been having our own problems, trying to raise children while being on drugs, and have a home and wedding is not usually maintained well. Here we were broke, and on drugs, and fighting all the time.  I was spending more and more time with Jake.  Soon I told Rich if he didn't change, I would be leaving him to go with Jake.  He told me, as long as I continued to live with him, I could see Jake whenever, as long as we remained together.

Well after a year, Jake and I finally made love. It was complete ecstasy from what I can recall.  I had stood Richie up for his birthday party at his mom's house (which we now living in because we were broke from buying dope)

I went straight to Richie and told him.  He didn't even blink an eye.  However, he promised me we'd get through it.  Well Jake didn't like 'sharing' although I was sleeping on the couch.  He told me it was time to choose.  And this I did...I chose him....He promised me world, and was great to me, and after a year of putting with me living with another man, and staying with him on the weekend, I moved in with him.  Kids and all.  

We had a wild passion for each other, and I never had that with Richie.  Til this day we're together.  We've long since gotten off of the pills, and have a beautiful family with kids of our own. It's not always as simple as white and black, and sometimes you have to make that jump into the gray area.  I lost a few friends through that year of being with 'two guys'.  But the heart isn't simple, and you can't hide your feelings. I even lost a daughter in all the mess.  He was hurt, and wanted to hurt me.  I was to do Jake, as long as I stayed in our 'happy family'.He took her and would not return her.  After months of waiting for a court hearing, it was too late, she was in school, and doing well.  I have her 3 days a week now...but  I wasn't happy with Richie, and he tried like hell to win me back, and once in a drunken, heated discussion about our daughter (Jake and I had been fighting about my bartending job), we hooked up again,  Right there in the back of his car.  I knew the minute it had ended that I had made the wrong choice in sleeping with my ex-fiance, and that I had made the right the choice in choosing the 'other guy'..So I went to Jake, and told him what had happened...It nearly destroyed us.  He did feel like he deserved it however after openly 'stealing' me from Rich.   It has been over 4 years since my last rondevue with my first fiance, cheating on the guy I was cheating on him with!!!!   Crazy how life works.  
Rich and I had moved back to our hometown to get married and be a family, in less than a years time, I had fallen in love and cheated on the man that I once thought I'd spend eternity with.  Now that I'm with the other guy, I couldn't be happier about my decision. Richie had gotten a great job, making 70 + thousand a year, and Jake had been laid off..But that didn't matter.  The bond between Jake and I was so much stronger than what anyone could have ever understood.  
abbymay26 abbymay26 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 3, 2012

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It almost was!! lol! One guy was the quiet, timid type that didn't give a damn to ever stick up for much..and the other was the headstrong, speak up kinda guy..I went with him. It all happened over a period of a year, and I was completely my boyfriend the entire time. I guess I was just waiting for the moment for him to say NO MORE...but he never did. He just thought it was kinda ok for me to hang out with this other guy, even after I told him that I was starting to like him.

as much as that sounds like it should be an episode of Jerry Springer, I understand. Whit issues of the heart, it's not that easy. Emotion is the most powerful thing driving us. and when it involves another, it becomes priceless, as an individual person is priceless in and of itself.



As for the "partying". stay clean. I feel pretty confident when I say,"you are a better person without that crap".