Affair With Roomate
I'm having an affair with my roomate... I'm not sure if I'm falling inlove with him... I don't want him talking to any girls but yet I'm married... I get so jelous and have found myself checking his emails and facebook. He's also my best friend.. I don't want to lose my husband but at the same time I don't want to end it... Help!!
Update Jan 4th
A little more to my story why I feel so guilty if I abandon him as a friend
Its not just sex. Let me share a little more about the story.. he was sexually abused by his father. When he came out and told his family no one believed him... He didn't tell anyone details because he had no trust in his life. When we meet we would just chat for hours . He started to confess to me the things his father did. How he hates him for making him enjoy sex at a young age... At that point all I could see was a lost child that needed help. He was angry all the time and didn't know how to communicate... On top of that his ex wife is one evil ***** that wouldn't let him see her daughter. Anyways he's changed so much and he thanks me all the time but when he feels cornered he goes on a destructive path. I have been there to calm him down he has a lot of issues but has been opening up so much.. he used to think it wasn't ok to cry cause that's what he was told when he was little. I feel if I do kick him just when he's getting his life back together in a way . Ill be turning my back on him. I know I'm turning my back on my husband but i cant help this feeling.........update Jan 5th.... last night I told him to leave and he laughed I got angry and told him again and he said " wow I have never seen u so serious" we talked some more and told him again... He gave me a blank stare waiting for me to tell him that i didnt mean it... All that was running through my head was eveyones comments telling me its for the best.. then I said I have to I can't do this... He then started to cry and said he didn't want to leave that he was going to be with me till the end... I told him that I didn't want to do this but I have to . He cried more and I gave in he said he promised he wouldn't say two words two me.... After another long talk I went to the restroom but I could hear him undressing for bed .. in my bedroom when I came back I said what are you doing? He replied with going to bed . I said no do you remember our texts. I reminded him that a couple days ago he said it was over.. he then said you made me say it.. All I can think of was yes I did because this site made me stronger but I knew I would give in... I stood my ground and said no its not fair to me..the roomie then said so your saying if we are just friends we can't cuddle... I looked at him with a serious face.. he gave me a more million excuses why I shouldn't kick him out of bed.... I eventually gave in... Did it feel the same at first I can't lie but the satisfaction wasn't there I was defeated . And all I could think was wow for the first time in my life regardless how I was raised or what I was taught I was letting a man control me with manipulation... What is wrong with me?