Why I Did It

I actaully have had three affairs.  One was a one night stand so I guess that was more of an indescretion rather than an affair.  The next one is someone I am still involved with (over 10 years).  I met her in Sydney on business.  She now lives in DC and I see her once or twice a year.  The third one was a extremelhy torrid affair with someone I knew from high school.  Lasted about 9 months and I almost left my wife for her.  The only reason I stayed was for my daughter (yet my wife kind of forgave me). 
So why did I do it?  I think that still is a bit of a puzzle but I think that basically I am swinger at heart and marriage just doesn't suit me unless the other partener shares the same mindset.

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8 Responses Sep 27, 2008

Monogamy is tough!!

I think many marriages could be saved if more people would be open to allowing their spouse a 'hall pass' now and then. If I could have been honest with my spouse about my need for something outside of the marriage, we might still be together. But that was out of the question since he let it be known from early on in the relationship that there would be no one else for either of us. He never let me forget his stance on that, so instead of telling him what I needed, I did it anyway, then left because I couldn't stop. If I had been able to share with him, and had he 'allowed' me that freedom, it would have ended there. <br />
Why are so many people so stuck on monogamy and unable recognize the benefits of a good sexual release?

Why don't you stop guessing what's wrong with you and why you do this to your wife and kid and go see a therapist and try to find out what's wrong with you.

Only trouble headed for me? That is a scary thought. I don't want anyone hurt.

I regret marrying so young. I have never lived alone and would like to experience it someday. My husband is a good man but I don't think it was a wise choice in marrying him. I don't know what to think. We make a good team but I can't/don't depend on him in some ways. Maybe I am selfish, I don't know. But we have three small children who I don't want to see hurt. I have emotional needs that aren't being met. Our sex life is just fine. We have sex 3-4 times a week so he is happy in that area. But now I can't seem to get pass hurt and feelings of betrayal. I feel as if he deserved my first affair. Now I enjoy the company and conversation of my new friend. I feel a little guilt....oh well

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again... No, just kidding. Why I keep doing it? I like having different people to talk to. I married really young. I didn't build friendships with different types of people througout my marriage. I found myself in a postion last year where I felt I needed more emotional support. I was desperate and sought to have an affair. I never had sex with anyone...yet. My heart was broken with the first guy. The new guy is really gentle. I feel as if I need a break from my reality. A resting place.

I guess I never thought of myself as being a person not made for marriage. As a little girl we are always taught to look forward to the wedding. I was faithful for 12 years before I decided to have an affair. Now it is difficult for me to stop.

I sometimes wonder why we continue to pursue affairs when we know the outcome can be devestating. My husband said he would leave me if if cheated on him again. It hurt to see him upset. But I am talking to someone new.