After being with him on Sunday... He has distanced himself a bit.. I know he doses this ... But I'm a little extra emotional....He knows I'm all mushy the day after were together. Why can't he send and extra sweet text?? He always sends a good night lover text ...
Last night he sent good night baby...
I don't know but I need to stop getting all crazy!
deleted deleted
26-30
5 Responses Sep 2, 2014

add me too plsss!!!

Men & women react differently after getting together. Men feel content while women want more contact. I leave my AP alone for 3 days and his fire comes right bk :)

This exact scenario plays out for me. My AP told me from the beginning that after we're together, he needs to go "underground" for a little bit (we're a long-distance affair so we usually spend a few days together). He needs to distance himself so that he can get back to his reality, work, home life, etc. I have the same reaction you have every time - I miss him and need/want extra attention. It's been a source, more than once, of arguments between us. I swear...sometimes I feel as though it's chemical/hormonal reaction that I can't control. I get over it about 48 hours after seeing him, but it feels like hell every time.

At least he sent something, Different... good bye baby is sweet :)

mine didn't send anything for 9 days.
That's why he is out for good.

It was huge torture.

I let him. Next day no contact, I was ok. Second day I called him and I saw on my phone we talked for 2 minutes. He was telling me he is cutting the gras.
Then next day I sent him a text, 'you forgot me already?'.
No peep.
Then I got angry and started calling and only THEN he text me saying he traveling to US. Still nothing thereafter.

If your smartphone account get super expensive when you cross the border, there are online Free Text.. you text to the person.

So obviously he didn't give a ****.

And it was tremendous torture for me, especially when you are assured that he loves you so much and runs after me like a sick puppy, gets angry, gets crazy when I don't want to see him...

I'm glad it is over PHEEEEWW....

----
so your man seems to have his head on his shoulders. At least he followed on his 'follow up on me' request. :))

xxO

men are pigs :)

joking aside.. when you're with him, do you talk? about things like that, i mean. Do you ever ask him things like that?

maybe you could have asked him that this sunday.. afterwards.. lying in his arms.. i can picture it already..
- hey.. so, am i gonna get the usual "good night lover" text today... or do i get an extra sweet one for the next few days?
- well i do already have the usual one saved so i can just re-send it...
- but i want an extra sweet one! pleaseeee...
- well.. i don't know..
- oh come on.. if you promise to do it, i'll stay a few minutes longer and we can maybe do it again..?
- well.. since you put it that way...
:)

beats making all sorts of crazy scenarios in your head.. at least in my book :)

that it will... but at the same time, it will also make it less fun during :)
ah.. every time i read your posts, they remind me how envious i'm of you :)

i remember :)

It is so painful. I guess there are people who can live with the unpredictable nature of an affair. I am apparently not one of them. I'm completely addicted, totally in love. It sucks!! I want more but I'm married and he's with someone else. I want us.

you said it like "i want us, but they won't let me".. like you could be having exactly what you want if it weren't for others..

but you do have what you want. "i want us.. and i also want my husband and me.. and i also want"... and he also wants you, and he also wants that someone else and...
life is not linear.. it's complicated.. and everchanging.. And we want a million things.. and most of them don't blend together well.. and we're pursuing them, each of us in our own way.

I am making myself unhappy.. i know that... yet i still do it.

The thing is, I bet the grass isn't greener.....my h is a terrible bore. We have grown apart. But he is a far better person than my ap. I know that. Just need to cut ties and for some reason I can't.

Could it be it's because you don't want to cut ties, you want to keep them? Maybe it's just one of those things we want.. But this one really doesn't blend well with some of the other stuff... :)

I def don't want to cut ties. Every part of me knows I should. Tried more times than I can count. But I've never actually severed the cord. It just gets frayed but holds on.

the more i get older, the more i start questioning those things "every part of me knows"..
Turns out a lot of those were/are false... and once i realize that, mostly "every part of me" would sigh "FINALLY! That's what we were screaming about all along!" Obviously, a lot of the times something gets lost in translation :)

You know what they say.. "If you repeat a lie often enough..."
Well, we're all repeating a lot of lies over and over and over and over, so often we're taking them for granted as universal truths.

why should you cut all ties?

Bc I want more. I hurt when we can't be together. I hate never knowing when I will see him. The highs are great but the lows are killing me.

damned if you do, damned if you don't.

so why can't you have more?
why couldn't it be like on one of those inspirational posters?
http://tinyurl.com/kcw6pbw

why is it ok for me to go for a hiking weekend with my friends... anytime.. and even be encouraged by my wife "sure, go, have fun, i love it when you're doing something that makes you happy", but if i say i want to spend a day with some other woman, all hell breaks loose? :)

Maybe we weren't meant to be monogamous?
My prob is that I'm not encouraged by my H to go do things with my gf's. In the past 2-3 years, I started doing things, though. He doesn't say anything about it. Although, an example of the way he makes me feel bad..... I went to get my son fast food last weekend. Saw a neighbor who I haven't talked to for a while. I stopped to chat and she had a lot to tell me. It ended up being a half hour conversation. I called my son to tell him I hasn't even made it off our street but i was leaving now. When I got home, I was met by h with "there must have been some line at mcd's". My son said "I told you she stopped to talk to Karen ". It's crap like that which has pushed me away. Why couldn't he just say "how's Karen?" If I go out with a friend, I get "of course you are" instead of "have a great time". Why would I want to come home and be intimate with that?!?!
But the sneaking around with ap and being jealous when he's not with me are killing me. I wish life was simple.

i think we're making it more complicated than it has to be.

do you talk to your husband about that? did you tell him that his mcd's comment bothered you and that with comments like that he's pushing you away.. and that you wished he would have asked "how's karen"?

perhaps he just thinks he's funny. i know a lot of the stuff i mean as jokes end up hurting my wife.
perhaps he's hurt by some actions of yours and you don't have any idea what it is. perhaps he doesn't either. there's been plenty of times where i was angry at my wife for weeks.. months about something.. and just assumed she was aware of it.. but she wasn't.
sometimes i'm frustrated about something totally unrelated and it makes me lash out on people close to me - and my wife's the closest so she gets the thick end of that stick...
..............
i'm not sure where i was going with the above, the comment was opened for a while.. so the next part will most likely not have much in common with the 1st part..
so my wife would often accuse me of things like.. "you don't love me like i love you"... but if she doesn't know what i want.. what my cravings are, my fears, my desires, my passion.. if i have to hide stuff from her so she doesn't get too hurt.. does she really love ME? or is it more some idea of what she would like "me" to be? how close or far is her "me" from the real "me"?


no, i don't think we're meant to be monogamous... not me anyway...

I gave up talking to him about it. It was def not a joke. I had to go to the grocery store once when I ran into a friend. We talked for a while and then she followed me home so that she could borrow a cup of my dogs' food. When I came in, there was a remark about how long it took. When I told him I stopped to talk to Emma, he responded "of course you did". I asked what he meant by that and it was the same crap. I'd do anything for my friends....blah blah blah. It's nothing new. But now I don't care anymore. If I see someone, I talk. It's my nature. If he doesn't like it, I don't care. My best friend died 2 yrs ago. There were too many things she regretted. I'm not going to regret things.

omg.. sallyanne

I see we have same understand of life.

God, i'm turning into one of those 'it's better to have loved and lost...' people.. A few months ago i was ready to deal with those with an axe :)

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