My Affair Ended and I Wish It Hadn't.

I have known my wife since I was ten years old.  We have been together for 10 years but married for five.  I never thought it would happen, but things went stale.  She became more and more inhimited.  Therapy helped a little but it did not make any permanent changes.  So, I started looking.  I posted an ad on a whim to see what a scary world was out there and to show myself that it wasn't worth it.  Little did I know, but my only real response was a kind, yet kinky, woman that cought my attention. 

  We went back and forth trading stories under assumed names for about a month.  At some point I aske her what high school she went to and wouldn't you know it....it was my alma matter.  She graduated a few years ahead of me. I KNEW HER, well kind of.

  Instead of freaking me out, it gave her a sense of familiarity.  We got together shortly after that and had an affar that lasted a year.  Work improved, I was happier at home, and everything seemed to fall into place.

  She was married as well and her husband came to her wanting to renew thier marriage because he had begun to notice her dis-interest.  So we walked away like we promised we would.

  She still calls and writes from time to time as a friend, and it kills me everytime.  I have a broken heart and I can't tell anyone!

Taylor311 Taylor311
31-35
8 Responses Mar 24, 2009

I feel your pain bro. I'm on the same boat. I haven't seen my lady friend in almost 4 months. I miss her alot. She told me thing were better with her husband. I wish I could say the same about my wife!!!
Stay cool bro

get divorced and keep going.

You can talk to me :)

I love what you wrote Pink Tiger, you are absolutely 100% right, THANK YOU!! This is exactly how I am feeling!

Sucks eh? Ive felt that way before and have no escape seen as I had a child as a result of my affair, so have to keep contact for access to my child. I fully appreciate how you feel, but what do you really miss? Whenever ive analysed myself in this situation, im not sure its the person I miss, but more the lust, sex, excitement and naughtiness of the affair. I recently had opportunity to restart my 'affair', but this time as proper bonified partners and in the end after many hours mulling it over, I took a rain check... I couldnt ever have a long and loving relationship with them, after the honeymoon period was over, the everyday mundane life and paranoid thoughts of them cheating on me would start. So now I still have to talk to her, but try to keep it professional and surpress (or reason with myself) the thoughts I have (or had) for her. I wonder if anything ive said here applies to your situation, would be interesting to know if its just me that feels this way!

The worst part about being broken hearted after an affair is that you feel a) like you have no right to be given how you're in a marriage and you shouldn't have had an affair in the first place and b) can't talk to anyone about it. I feel your pain absolutely.

I believe in the no contact rule

I am sorry.<br />
<br />
Lashanda