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Sorry It's Over But Not Sorry It Happened.

I had an affair with a woman that I became close to after she lost her husband to cancer.  She was 17 years my senior but I found her to be a very attractive woman. 

I first met her during a time in my own marriage when my wife seemed to find more interest outside of our relationship then with me and our baby.  It was almost as if she would only be there when others were around to show off being wife and mother for an audience.  The rest of the time she spent going to work and spending time with her coworkers.  I later learned that many of the after work socials were attended by the spouses o her coworkers but I was never invited.

The woman I became involved with was very close to the family.  When she lost her husband I became her almost surrogate husband helping with chores around her house.  It almost seemed like my wife found enjoyment not having me around and spending time with this woman.  It was almost as if my wife felt justified in going out without me because I was helping this other woman.  Almost like she had it in her mind that I was occupied elsewhere so I wouldn't mind her being away.  I have a sneaking suspicion that she also figured that I wouldn't do anything stupid with this woman so it was safe to allow me to be around her.

Our affair started out innocently at first.  It started out with occasional hugs and kisses on the cheek for helping her around the house and with her car.  Then the kisses slowly progressed to quick pecks on the lips and occasional holding hands.  Then the sitting close on furniture as well as rubbing up next to each other in tight areas around the house.  I have to say that I was really starting to feel sexually attracted to her and I know it was getting that way with her too.

I remember our first real passionate kiss.  She was at our house and my wife was upstairs.  I was in the kitchen and I turned around just in time to bump into her breast hard.  I grabbed her into my arms to say I was sorry and it happened then.  She turned her face up and I leaned in and kissed her.  I held her in my arms after the kiss and saw a passion in her eyes that I hadn't seen in a long time.  The passion that was in that kiss and her eyes scared both of us but we continued to see each other on a regular basis.  Our touching and kissing became more often until we almost got caught by my wife when she walked in on us.  The look on my wife's face that day told me that even though she couldn't prove anything she didn't trust us together. 

Our time together was limited to whenever my wife was around and I stopped doing things around her house.  If I was asked, I always tried to finish as fast as I could and got out of there.  I know she tried to initiate communicate about what happened but I was too afraid to admit my passion for her.  I also know that when I was alone with her, my wife started making it a habit to just show up at odd times (using the excuse that she wanted to make sure I was doing a good job).

About two years after that initial kiss, the woman decided to move into a smaller place and asked my wife if she would enlist my help with her move.  It was almost as if my wife jumped on the chance because it meant that I was going to away for at least a day. 

It didn't take long to load the truck and we set out for her new place.  We figured that it should only take one day but the truck broke down and after reloading her stuff onto another rental, we called it a day and spent the night in a motel.  Since we were both sweaty after reloading, I let her jump into the shower first.  I ran across to the WalMart next door and got some fresh clothes.  She didn't close the bathroom door all the way and when I got back, I was treated to seeing her fully nude for the first time.  She was bent over, drying her hair when I walked back into the room.  I know she was aware that I was there because I saw a slight smirk on her face when she walked out of the bathroom.  All I could think of was I needed to get a cold shower FAST!

After my shower, we went down to the restaurant and that was when she told me she had called my wife and left a message what had happened and where to contact us.  We never did hear from my wife that night.  As we walked back to the room, I put my arm around her and she snuggled right in.  I have to admit it felt good and I know she wasn't objecting.  I should have known that something was going to happen that night when the desk clerk addressed me as Mr. (her last name).  She had a big smile on her face when I winked at her after he said it.

We went up to the room and I stretched out on one of the beds.  She went into the bathroom and changed into her nightgown and robe.  She climbed under the covers on the other bed and turned the TV on.  After a few minutes of channel surfing, she looked at me and asked if I wanted to watch one of the adult movies.  I looked at her and just said "I don't need an external source to get me worked up when I'm with my wife."  I think it actually took her a minute to realize what I said but she finally slid out of her bed and joined me in mine.  It's a good thing she registered us as a married couple because that's how the night went, us locked in passion and sexual release.

The next morning we got up and just stayed in bed for about an hour holding each other.  We finally talked about over love and lust for one another and how hard it was to keep up appearances when we lived close.  After finally getting to her new apartment and getting her somewhat settled, she kissed me and said we need to part.  I have to admit, it was one of the hardest moments in my life.  I was torn between my family and her.

Over the next few years, our communication became less and less.  She still stays in touch with my wife on a regular basis.  My wife and I have become closer since that time and are spending more time together.  The last time I tried to talk to her about us and what happened between us, she just said "What kind of love affair could we have?"  I knew what she meant.  The last time she came for a visit, I still saw some of that passion in her eyes for me but I knew that it could never happen again.

 

beentherendonethat beentherendonethat 56-60, M 8 Responses Apr 18, 2009

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Just to say I had an affair in which something like sex happened twice. He was very nervous and refused to penetrate. The other stuff was good for both of us. Now he refuses to see me. We text frequently. That's it. This has been going on for 5 years. I have only saw him once this year. He has sexual issues with Premature EJ ; he was sexual molested from the ages of 8 to 11. *(IHe He told me this out very recently) When I asked him why he avoids me, he says he feels guilt and shame. My question is why since he says his wife is so frigid sexually.<br />
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It has been an awful let down for me. I have been married for many years, and now I feel as if I was the ob<x>ject of a test because he says I just wondered if I could do normal sex. This guy from the beginning said that he and his wife had sex only two or three times a year. Is this guy gay? I don'[t trust easily, but I trusted him. I always believed that a man was going to have sex with someone and more frequently than this guy has sex. He refuses to see me. He is going to a therapist because of his issues with abuse and P.E. I don't know. There are so many missing pieces. This guy has money and a great position. <br />
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I feel no guilt. I had talked with my husband and begged him to change. I was backed in a corner because I was dying inside. I felt I had to stay because of my limited finances and children.

Just to let you guys out there know, my husband has an affair a year back, and I am still keep thinking whether he still thinking of her, missing her even though we move on and rekindle our relationship. <br />
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It was an awful experience, as someone put it as second to a child's death. I wish that the affair close the chapter without my knowledge but unfortunately is not.<br />
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He is the one who are not keen in sex and PDA in the first place. I have been trying to find out how man feels about an affair from men point of view, and even eagle to try out an affair to see what is all about, insane huh?

Just to let you guys out there know, my husband has an affair a year back, and I am still keep thinking whether he still thinking of her, missing her even though we move on and rekindle our relationship. <br />
<br />
It was an awful experience, as someone put it as second to a child's death. I wish that the affair close the chapter without my knowledge but unfortunately is not.<br />
<br />
He is the one who are not keen in sex and PDA in the first place. I have been trying to find out how man feels about an affair from men point of view, and even eagle to try out an affair to see what is all about, insane huh?

Just to let you guys out there know, my husband has an affair a year back, and I am still keep thinking whether he still thinking of her, missing her even though we move on and rekindle our relationship. <br />
<br />
It was an awful experience, as someone put it as second to a child's death. I wish that the affair close the chapter without my knowledge but unfortunately is not.<br />
<br />
He is the one who are not keen in sex and PDA in the first place. I have been trying to find out how man feels about an affair from men point of view, and even eagle to try out an affair to see what is all about, insane huh?

RATHER than have sex with another woman i would rather have a woman to kiss, cuz my wife never kisses(or nythiung else) aqnymore

I HAD AN AFFAIR AND LOVED IT BUT I AM STILL WITH MY WIFE

You are right about coming to an end. There have been times since we've split up that I find myself thinking about her, worring about her and wonder what it would have been like if I had chose her over my family.<br />
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Yes my wife and I seem to have found that lose love and passion that we had when we were first married so in that respect I am very happy.

Loved your story and glad to hear that you're happier with your wife now

wow thats some story i didnt want it to end im glad to hear though that you and your wife are still toghether and i hope you are happy!!