During my sophomore year of high school I suffered from ENDOS.

In my sophomore year, I realized that I wasn't happy with my body, and I was gonna do something about it. It started with me working out everyday for an hour and eating only 1000 calories a day. I lost 10 pounds within 2-3 weeks. I was so happy with the results that I became obsessed with losing weight.

I started doing the ABC diet and within a month later, I lost 20 lb more. I was happy with losing a whopping 30 lbs, but I was hungry and tired all the time and my hair became very thin and brittle. Small activities, like walking up the stairs of my school would make me so tired.

My ENDOS got worse. Sometimes I would eat only an apple or a cracker for a whole day. I was miserable, but I was still losing weight, which motivated me to continue. I was obsessed with how much calories I ate and always has a calculator by my side.

Although I restricted a lot, sometimes I would binge, and then take a toothbrush or push my fingers down my throat to force the food back up. Sometimes I would take laxatives or only chew the food, but spit it right back out afterward. I also had a plastic wrist band that I would snap on my wrist as punishment whenever I ate too much, which led to bloody bruises.

And one day I cracked and I did one of the biggest binges I've ever done. I think it was about 5000 calories of junk food, pasta, and anything I could get my hands on. I continued to binge for weeks and gained all the weight back within a month. I think I gained 45 lb in 3 months. I felt horrible and disappointed with myself.

After about 5 months, my eating patterns were back to normal. And now I am a vegan, and I don't think I could ever go back. I am back to my original weight, and I'm slowing losing weight, but in a healthier way. I have so much more energy. I cut all of the damaged hair, and now my hair is healthy, shiny, and thick again. It was a rough ride, but I'm in a better place now, and I don't regret it.
rumblingheart rumblingheart
18-21, F
Aug 18, 2014