The Doctor Seems As Confused As Me.

Well let me just start off by saying that at 28 I have always been healthy.  Until 2009 I had never had surgery, never broke any bones and except having my daughter never stayed in a hospital.  Well this year all that changed.  My husband and I celebrated our anniversary January 18th.  I was so excited.  Nana was keeping our 5 year old for the night and we were ALONE.  yay!  The week before our anniversary I had PMS so it had been a week with no touching.  So you can imagine my excitement to be PMS free on our anniversary.  Well about 4 days after our anniversary I began to menstruate again. (or so I thought.)  I was glad that at least we had our special night.  Well after a week of more PMS the cramps got a little worse.  I suspected then that something was not right.  I had irregularity with my PMS before I had my daughter but it had been 5 years of normal PMS since then.  I told my husband despite my faithlessness and discontent with doctors I had to bite the bullet and make an appointment.  I have insurance so maybe I can find a decent doctor.  So my wonderful husband finds a doctor close that is on my HMO.  So after a regular period and 4 normal days followed by 2 weeks of cramping and bleeding I finally go to the doctor.  Being that this is the first time I have seen this doctor the only information that they have to go on is my past medical information and my financial.  They seemed more concerned about money than the reason I  was coming to see them.  So I was already scared and confused.  When the doctor did finally come in to see me after the nurse does the usual height, weight, and blood pressure check, the doctor asked me if I was pregnant.  Since I hadn't missed a period I had no reason to think that I was.  The did a urine pregnancy test at the doctors office and it came out positive.  I was absolutely shocked.  I didn't know what to think or how to feel.  My husband and I had already decided we weren't going to try to have anymore children.  Well when the doctor announced that we were pregnant she wasn't at all excited and seemed very unsure.  So I asked what was wrong.  She said that I was having a miscarriage and that in a couple of days I "should" be fine.  That my body would naturally abort the pregnancy.  I felt mortified.  I felt like a murderer.  I knew I had been more emotional than normal but I wasn't thinking pregnancy at all.  And now hearing that I was and that my body is aborting it, my emotions were all over the board.  I was as confused as ever.  I felt so bad for my husband who had the overjoyed look on his face when the doctor announced we were pregnant.  I can't imagine how he must feel.  So the doctor sent us on our way saying that what I was experiencing was a normal miscarriage.  I had alot of abdominal pain and the bleeding for me seemed pretty bad.  But again the doctor who had seem me only once assured me that all this was "normal."  So my husband and I took our broken spirits and headed home.  Up until this point I had been working full time.  The day after finding out about the supposed miscarriage, The pain of the cramps had gotten so bad I couldn't go to work.  I called the doctor again talking to them about the pain and they kept telling me it was normal and to take some Tylenol.  They did at this point refer me to an obgyn saying that they would know more about it.  I guess my questions about weather or not we could do anything to save the baby from the miscarriage confused the general practitioner as she seemed to have no answers for me.  All she could says is that I am pregnant but I won't have the baby.  Even with 2 going on 3 weeks of bleeding and cramping she said this is normal.  Even though in my head and heart I knew my body and this was anything but normal.  So I knew at this time there was no way were having a baby.  Any joyful and exciting thoughts of a baby were gone.  All that was left is fear and self loathing.  Well I reminded myself that I still have a healthy beautiful 5 year old daughter at home and an awesome husband.  I must admit the doctors never gave us hope about having a healthy pregnancy or baby.  However since the doctors themselves seemed so unsure of things I guess we thought maybe by some chance or miracle that it could be OK.  We thought that maybe the new doctor since he was an OB/GYN would be able to shed more light on the subject.  In all this time and waiting I'm still having the cramps and bleeding.  The not knowing anything for sure was killing my husband and I.  The pain was getting worse, physically and mentally.  Growing up I had seen my mother have 2 miscarriages.  So I could remember some of what they called "normal" happening to my mom. But I also remember it lasting only a couple of days.  I had been dealing with this for weeks at this point.  This was nothing like what I remember my mom going through.  I had lots of questions and no doctor seem to have definitive answers.  So we went to the new doctor.  The OB/GYN.  The did the EXACT same test as the other general practitioner but added a few more, like an additional internal exam.  By this time I felt like they had looked inside me so much how could they not know whats going on.  So the new doctor sent me to the hospital for even more tests.  At this time they suspected an ectopic pregnancy.  They didn't think it was just a normal miscarriage anymore.  Finally they had listened that this was NOT a normal miscarriage.  Of course I had been on my PC at home doing my own research as always putting in my symptoms on webmd and doing google searches about pregnancy and miscarriages.  So I was pretty sure at that point I had an ectopic pregnancy.  When the tests came back from the hospital and blood work was compared the doctors finally said that's what was wrong.  Did I mention that every doctor I saw was more concerned with money than my treatment.  That was a huge issue for me as I do have insurance but am not wealthy.  Treatment was on a what I can afford basis it seemed.  So back to the obgyn who at this time after seeing me 1 time determined that a shot of methotrexate would be the best treatment.  It was the cheapest non surgical treatment and worked for most women.  I was scared to death.  They said I had to go up to the oncology floor, to another doctor who would give me the injection.  Now my mom has had cancer several times so I know all about the oncology floor.  The obgyn doctor said they obviously don't keep that medicine in their offices.  Wow that made me feel so much worse.  My husband and I went up to oncology to yet another doctor.  We waited and we waited and we waited.  Finally the next doctor came in and explained that methotrexate is a poison.  But that used in small doses could rid my body of the pregnancy.  I didn't think it was possible but this made me feel worse.  I felt like I was aborting my baby.  It didn't help that the doctors used this terminology.  The doctor explained that in some cases women need more than 1 shot to do this.  But that it's very rare to need more than 1 dose.  The oncology doctor made it very clear saying that he didn't need to see me again. Despite telling me than some women need more than 1 dose.  He said I should follow-up with the obgyn doctor.  And I never saw the oncology doctor again.  So I had an appointment set-up to see the obgyn doctor just over a week later.  Well I didn't make it that long.  I had the injection of methotrexate on Tuesday and the following Monday after working all day and still dealing with the cramping and bleeding (yes still) the pain was unbearable.  Since I had done my research I knew it was possible the shot hadn't worked.  in-light of the new treatment I did more research on ectopic pregnancy and treatment with methotrexate. What I found was disturbing.  Based on what I had read, the obgyn doctors were supposed to check my blood to make sure the methotrexate was working.  They had not done this.  It was a week after getting the injection and my symptoms were getting worse along with the pain.  Since I had done my homework I knew there was a chance that I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy, which is deadly.  It was nine o'clock at night my 5 year old is in bed because its a school night.  I called my mom to stay with my daughter so that my husband could take me to the emergency room.  When we arrived at the emergency room they had other people ahead of me.  I couldn't even stand-up straight to walk the pain was so bad.  We waited for 2 hours in the emergency room. So I sent my husband out to call the obgyn doctor.  I knew something was horribly wrong and I couldn't keep waiting in the emergency room.  My husband obviously had to leave a message because the obgyn office was closed but another obgyn that was on call that night called back a few minutes later.  And just like all the other doctors told me that the bleeding and cramping was "normal".  It was then I had enough.  I told the new obgyn doctor on the phone that this was NOT normal and if she was in this much pain she would be doing something more.  She told me to take some Tylenol for the pain.  I told her I was at the emergency room and she replied oh, well then just wait until they see you if you want to. She said there was nothing she could do for me.  And to just wait at the emergency room.  I knew that from what I had read about ectopic pregnancy I couldn't wait much longer. And I couldn't believe that all these doctors were blowing me off like a whining child with a belly ache.  Of course while outside on the phone with a doctor who can't help me they call my name in the emergency room.  Upon returning to the waiting area my husband asked the front desk worker if they have called me while outside and she says no, we are really busy and will get to you when we can.  So my husband and I take a seat in the waiting room and wait another half hour.  The pain is unbearable. I tell my husband I can't do it (wait) any longer.  I told him to drive me to another emergency room.  As I am attempting to walk out of the hospital, they call my name.  The nurse takes me back to check my blood pressure and ask me questions about why I'm there and why I didn't come back the first time he called me (wow).  I wrote ectopic pregnancy on the form with sever pain in stomach and I guess they are unaware of what that is because the male nurse starts to tell me my due date.  I stop him before the date reaches his tongue and say that its an ectopic pregnancy which means I apparently won't be having a baby.  He then asks me if I'm pregnant.  Now I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt assuming he means am I still pregnant.  I tried to explain the best way I knew how, as I myself only have the information that I read online and what has already happen to me.    All the doctors keep asking me if I'm pregnant and I don't know exactly what to say. I feel like I am but based on doctor procedures I'm not supposed to be.  You guys are the doctors so why does everyone keep asking me that?  So they take me back and start doing all the same tests I had done before I had the injection of methotrexate.  More blood work, another ultrasound (even thought this is the same hospital that did the ultrasound the first time) and yet another internal ultrasound as well.  I'm still in immense pain and finally they tell me they are going to give me something for pain.  I guess by now they know I'm not faking it and I'm in real serious pain.  The have me in a triage room and are hooking me up to iv's and inform me that they need a urine sample too.  However, since I'm bleeding they will need to collect it by means of a catheter.  Did I mentions I've always been healthy never been in a hospital.  So There isn't even a word in the dictionary to describe how I'm feeling.  The emergency room doctor comes in to see me.  This is the first doctor to treat me like a real person that seems to have any sense what so ever.  He tells me I have an ectopic pregnancy.  What a revelation.  I tell him I know that but I had the injection of methotrexate.  He says it looks like it didn't work.  He goes on to tell me that he thinks that the ectopic pregnancy has ruptured.  He says he is going to call the obgyn (the one I had already talked to 3 or 4 hours earlier) Because he wants her opinion on how to handle it.  I had been having some pain in my shoulder when I breath which I knew was bad.  When the obgyn arrived at the hospital she came in to talk to me and explain that my ectopic pregnancy had ruptured that I needed to have emergency surgery. I told her my shoulder hurt when I breath and she said that was because there was blood pushing on my diaphragm which was causing the pain.  By this time they had given me some morphine so the only real pain I felt was in my shoulder when I breath.  (not bad considering)  So The obgyn doctor left and they whisked me away to prep me for surgery.  I remember being rolled out of the triage room, it was the first time all night my husband wasn't right by my side.   

pj143 pj143
26-30, F
1 Response Feb 21, 2009

Thank you for shearing your story. An ectopic pregnancy is one of the most traumatic experiences. I have mine 10 years ago when I was 20. I am glad they worked out what it was quicker than yours. But it makes me angry when you can find out more from reading on the internet your self than the Dr's. They should know and understand what you are going through. They also don't think an ectopic is as bad as a miscarrage, because you usually loose the baby quicker than a miscarrage. I knew I was pregnant for 2 weeks before they found it was an ectopic. I thought they may have suggested counciling or something, but no. As a result of the emergancy operation I got a kidney infection. I found out later that after an operation like that, they should give you antibiotics to prevent an infection, but I didn't get any. I ended up back in the emergancy room weeks after the operation with really bad pain, from the kidney infection. We are suppose to trust Dr's with our lives, but it is hard to after experiencing traumas like the ones we have!<br />
If you ever need to chat to some one who has experienced an ectopic, feel free to message me!<br />