Addicted

I am married with two kids. My husband and I had been going through a rough time for two years. Out marriage had been so easy and no fighting for about 7 years. Then all of a sudden my husband became so mean. Not just at me, but he could anything negative and became so hateful towards everyone and it go to a point where I felt like I was walking on egg shells. I dreaded when it got close for him to come home from work. He would talk to the kids and completely ignore me. I am the complete opposite, I'm always happy, always see the best in everyone and everything an love life...so the way he was becoming was killing me inside. We had talks about it like every couple months and he would do good then go back to being mean. Each time we went through it over the two years, it turned me off and I felt myself falling out of love. I even tried to get him to go to counseling. Finally I was so tired of worrying about his mood and him that I decided I was gonna start being happy and just worrying about me and the kids. I started exercising and just focusing on the kids. Then I got a new phone and downloaded that game words with friends. I added a friend who is also married. I had met him a couple years ago, he was my sons tball coach and I had always had a crush on him since I had first seen him. I would have never thought in a million years we would end up talking. Anyways we started talking friendly over that game, then it turned into flirting an talking every day. We eventually dowlnloaded a chat app and still talk everyday. We have talked every single day for 8 months. When we first started talking it was all day long from 5 am to like 10:00 pm. Now it's not all day, but still quite a bit. He has even told me he loves me and he also made it very clear from the beginning he doesn't want it to turn physical cause he doesn't want to hurt anyone. He always says the right things and sweeps me off my feet, but then I feel him back off sometimes and t reals my heart! I know this is no good for me or him or our families and it's so bad that the days we don't be to talk much, I am super grouchy and sometimes almost cry. I know I am addicted to him and I need to end it, but I can't seem to do it. Like I'm holding out hope that we can be together some day. Anyways, my husband has seen a change in me and is trying to win me over an has been so good and sweet, but I feel like I fell out of love with him already, even before I started talking to this guy. I just wonder if this guy wasn't in my life if I would be more willing to try and fall back in love with my husband or if it doesn't matter?? I'm so lost and confused and I just want to be happy again. Why so I rely on this guy so much to make me happy? Why do I let him affect my mood so much??
An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 9, 2013

If you want to talk and just be FRIENDS and no funny stuff add me and I will accept you. I don't want to post anything on here, but will talk private. :)