A Sappy Movie Did ItWhen I first joined this group it was a long time ago, but I do remember what the epiphany was. I felt too lame to write a story about it, so I didn’t. The epiphany happened after watching The Notebook. The part where they come back from the canoe in the rain and she says “why didn’t you write me?” and he says he wrote to her every day for a year. The epiphany was: No one has ever loved me and completely let me in. There was also a sub-epiphany: Do not ever watch The Notebook again.
The epiphany went a little deeper than a whiny “no one loves me.” I thought about how I define love. For so long, I believed when you love someone, you put their needs before yours. You never want to hurt them even if they hurt you. You consistently think about how your actions are going to affect them. More than anything, more than yourself, you want them to be happy. You can’t stop loving them no matter what. I thought that when two people do that for each other, each gets rewarded with the other's sacrifice. And maybe I was defining love wrong. Maybe that kind of love swallows the lover so much that she gets lost. Maybe a person who loves so completely is inherently unlovable, because she has in effect forfeited her needs. If all he sees reflecting in his lover’s eyes is himself, he is bound to get restless.
I know the stuff depicted in sappy movies is not realistic. People do not write a love letter every day for a year without any sort of encouragement. By the third month without a response, it would turn into hate mail.