Dana.

i met him when i was in eight grade. he was in my spanish class. and p.e class.

me and my bestfriend used to make fun of him and say, "SORRY. i dont speak danish."

i never thought he was attractive or anything.

then in tenth grade he added me on myspace. we started talking and i started to like him.

a crush soon turned into a relationship. he was never touchy or anything. like he was nervous to hold my hand. it was really weird though because he was ALWAYS around. i never just had time to hang out with my friends at school unless we were at school. he never kissed me. but he was nice. i couldnt deal with the constant hovering. and the just saying "i love you" when he wouldnt even show that he did. just take me to dinner and i would go hang out at his house and lay with him on his couch and watch family guy. it wasnt enough. fur me anyways.

i broke up with him. he was too attached but wasnt attached. thats how i felt anyways.

for the next three weeks he kept emailing me and sending me txts. he even wrote me love letters. i didnt know. i had so much feelings that i felt bad. but i knew i didnt like him anymore. but i wanted love.

on new years i watched the ball drop alone as i drank teqilla. and moped. stupid.
and then i got a phone call from dana.

he said he was having a party and he wanted me to come. having nothing better to do i said i would come. then i was regreting that i ever broke up with him. because i thought that he would be the only one who would ever love me.

so i went to the party. we played spin the bottle with an empty bacardi bottle. that soon turned into truth or dare. lmfao. and i picked dare. dana's friend chris dared me to give dana another chance. and i did. the biggest mistake of my life.

we sat and he held me.

then it was three in the morning..

and the next thing i knew i woke up on his couch and he was laying next to me.

i got up to get a glass of water. and i turned around and he kissed me. for the first time.

 we migrated to the couch and layed there making out.

i had to get home cause i snuck out and it was five a.m now.

we dated for another month or so. and i broke up with him again. because what i thought would be different was exactly the same.

i feel so bad about this hole thing. i broke his heart so bad. and he wont get out of my head.

i hate that he always is talking o my friends and ****. its like no matter what i do he is there.

and i hate it. i hate that he cant forget me. because of what i did. and my mistakes. i should have said no.