There Is No Perfect Man.

My boyfriend treats me so well. I can trust him completely and without thinking about it. He takes care of me. He would sacrifice anything for me. But, he is also very needy. He is 10 years my senior and I take care of all the budgeting, bills, taxes, car repairs, home duties, and everything in between because he just "doesn't get it". This, to me, is very unsexy. I am the dominant one. I'd rater have an ebb and flow. I don't want to be the leader all the time. I constantly feel that I am teaching him something. When do I get to learn?

I reconnected with one of my biggest fans when I was a cam girl. He is very attractive, athletic, smart, and dirty. I love it. His attention keeps me excited. We used to Skype though the night and fall asleep on cam together. I hadn't talked to him in four years and he contacted me recently to let me know he will be in my home town late this summer. We have been texting non-stop. I send him pictures. He laughs at my jokes. He thinks I'm hot ****. The problem is, he is a total player and I just like him for the attention and flirting. I wouldn't date this dude in a million years.

I don't get obsessive about dudes. I don't get infatuated. But there is something about this kid that drives me nuts. When my phone beeps I get that stomach flutter. It's not that I'm disappointed when it's my boyfriend, but I get excited with it's the other dude.

I know it's the classic "grass is greener" problem. I know this other dude is just a fantasy. I felt this was about my boyfriend at one point. I crushed on my BF hard, way before we dated. But, with him, I felt that I'd be fine if we just stayed friends.

Why do I feel like I need to be in the arms of this other man? I want to know what he feels like and what he smells like. I want to laugh with him. I want to fall asleep in his arms. :(
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 23, 2013