Post

She Was My Everything

What a wonderful girl she was. I seen her one day hanging around my best friend Gabe early one day at school. I immediately thought to myself she was the one. She has sandy blonde hair in the sun and brown hair in the shade. Wonderful big brown eyes and the cutest little dimple in her nose;btw she hated it. Gabe had stopped me while I was walking with the girl who I had thought to be my next upcoming girlfriend. He introduced us and honestly I showed no interest in her. A week or two had gone by and i was noticing her more and more and I would always tell Gabe she was the one, she was the girl i had been waiting for. Gabe in return would say, " go for it man before someone else takes her." So that's exactly what I did. One day after school I was sitting on a bench talking to another friend and I had seen her coming my way. I stopped the conversation and quickly asked her for her phone number. She shyly took my phone and entered, "Amanda(:". I was so excited about getting her number! 
    Later that night I decided to text her and get to know her,I couldn't wait for the three day rule. She turned out to be a mirror image of me. She loved to play video games and she wasn't an amateur either...she can kick my butt in super smash bros.,liked the same foods,liked doing the same things as me and even acted a little tomboyish which I LOVE. So about another week goes by and I ask her to a date to the movies. We make the plans and get the "ok" from each other. I show up to the theatre before her and then she arrives:). As so I thought. Turns out we ended up at two different theatres! Her friend's dad dropped them off at the wrong one -__-. So what was I to do? I gave a stranger five dollars to give me a ride to the theatre she was at. I get there and now Im having trouble getting the ticket to the movie I wanted to see. I end up getting in and see her walking down the hallway from where the movie was playing at. We gave each other the biggest hug we can give and it was the greatest! She smelled so sweet! So we sit through the movie holding hands like a teenage couple would do;note:we aren't dating at this time. The movie comes to an end and her friend is being a huge COCKBLOCK. I quickly shut her friend up. So as we wait for their ride to come I make a bold choice to kiss her in front of her friend. IT WORKED! Our first kiss<3. It was so AMAZING I couldn't believe a kiss can feel so great.
    So throughout the week we are holding hand and looking like a couple. The girl I was talking to, Felicia, didn't seem to care and I didn't care if she cared or not. Everybody keeps asking us if we are dating because we looked so cute together and I would always say, "no". Amanda wouldn't like that very much. She herself would ask me if we were dating yet and i told her the same. I didn't want to rush into things, it was too perfect for me to comprehend. Finally it was a home game for our football team and I decided to take her out on a date there. It was a COLD night and guess who had brought the only sweater, me -_-, so I gave it to her. Again everyone told us how cute we look together and I again would tell them we weren't dating yet. I bought her some food and we had a few joke about just about everything we can joke about in our sight. Our friend Rosy somehow got going about "wishing upon a fart", I seen a cloud of smoke coming from the bbq and i said,"wish upon hot-dog smoke?" And i got a strange look from Rosy;she's odd but a great person. Amanda for the last time asked me if we were dating and I paused,looked her in the eyes and told her,"yes,we are now officially dating." It was on the calender November 13th,2009,friday the 13th.
    The first month is always exciting in a new relationship but in my past,that's all I had so I needed to show this amazing girl Im more than just "friend" material. I showed her that not only can I be respectful but also I do have the thirst for making out and leaving hickeys. She hated hickeys because her mom would kill her if she found out her only child was having "sexual encounters". and also she hated making out because she hadn't ever "made out". I was her second boyfriend but basically her first because her ex only lasted a week or two, I never cared to ask much. So I had to teach her how to do everything and she wasn't willing to do anything until I convinced her to do thing such as making out and leaving a hickey here and there.
    Month two went by well. Just about the time I had convinced her to do real sexual activities. Trust me I waited until she was ready so saying "convinced" is the wrong word to say. I treated her with care and respected her decision to wait which wasn't too long. We were at her house when her mom wasn't at home. She lived right across the street from our high school so it was real convenient. She was so shy it was cute. All i got to do was lift her shirt and bra and get to feel the "goods". Honestly it was my first time touching naked breasts....honestly she was the only girl I have ever done anything like that with even up to now in my current state of living. Well anyway she was a trooper and let it happen and she seemed to like it. Also in this month was new yr. So I had already met her mother a few weeks before and got the ok to spend new yr with them. We stayed the night  at her aunts house and had a blast but her mother's boyfriend was a real weirdo. Besides him everything went according to plan and was a great night. Her mother found out we had a little something going on and didn't like it at all and wanted it to stop.
    Month three was one of our greatest months together. I had met her mother in month two who I wasn't too fond of because of her b*tchy attitude. Her mother was very protective of her and it was understandable. We couldn't do much at her house but when she came to my house it was a different story. It took some time to get her mother to let Amanda come over and the first time she came over the night came too soon. We spent our whole time making out in my room;my parents are too laid back but its ok :D. Every time she came over we would get one step closer to having sex. The first time she felt my penis was so hilarious. She had felt it through clothes before but when she felt nothing but hard skin she flipped out! She was sitting on me while i was lying on my bed. She was touching it through my shorts and then i told her to hold on. I took it out,note:her back is facing my penis, and i told her to touch it again,she did and she SCREAMED! She then laughed and said, "that's beefy!" That made my night. A week goes by and she told Rosy what had happened. Rosy told me to respect her and wait for her when she is ready to have sex. I knew I would have to wait and I did with patience. It got me real good points with Amanda. She knew I respected her. We Finally have sex. Both of us virgins not really knowing how to do things. We both awkwardly discarded items of clothing until we both stood in the middle of my room naked. I put a condom on and was ready to go. I guess she wasn't after she felt how much of a stretch it is for her vagina. I had broken her hymen,blood coming out just a little bit and we had to stop. She couldn't handle the pain of my beefy penis,hahaha. 
   Our fourth month was THE month. It was a minimum day at school and we had nothing to do so i took her to a park not to far off from her house/the school. I was acting weird because I knew what I was going to tell her. It was a week after our 4th anniversary. I took her all over the park talking,laughing,playing. We we lying down on the grass under a tree and she had never smelled my farts. So i told her I needed to fart and she told me to let loose. I did and she was so crazy she went down to my hips and sniffed and said she smelled nothing,I was dying by own fart at this time. So anyway I took her to this huge gazebo thingy and I started to dance with her with no music to be heard for miles,hahaha, and she asked me why I was acting so "odd". I quickly told her to close her eyes and hold out her hand. She did so. I then gently cupped her hand and released, told her to open her eyes and she she seen nothing in her hand. I then told her I gave her my heart and then told her I love her. She was so happy to hear those words, Im assuming she had been waiting to tell me she loved me too because she told me immediately after I told her.
     Throughout the relationship we had sex very few times, my penis would always hurt her, We stuck to just my fingers and tongue and my abilities with my hands and tongue became unmatched as far as I know. I always would make her almost have an ******. Females can hold it in if they want to and she always did. She was so modest not to do it all over my face even though that's what i wanted. I became a huge freak in bed exploring every hole with my tongue. Yes, EVERY HOLE. Nostrils,ear holes,vagina,belly button and yes her anus. I had no problem putting my tongue anywhere. I was in love with her.
    So happily in love everyday to us was just rainbows and unicorns and sunny days. We did everything together and we wouldn't want it any other way. We were each other's best friend. I told her everything and she told me everything. The way its supposed to be. Of-course we would get into arguments but who doesn't have little tiffs? So we would always get over the problems by the end of the day. But one problem would stay. I started to get jealous. I disliked when I seen her talking to a guy during passing period while waiting for me. I knew she wouldn't dare do anything to mess up what we had but I couldn't trust the guys. I would think they were plotting against me to steal her away from me. I started telling her to stop wearing low-cut shirts to school an not to wear shorts. Yeah I got controlling around the same time. That's life for ya. I couldn't stop myself from getting irritated if i seen her showing cleavage. My pooky would ask me whats wrong and i wouldn't answer her. I didn't know it but these two problems would be the death of our relationship.
    So we had a "break" at around 1yr and 2 months. It was devastating to me. I felt so broken hearted I literally could eat,think or even function properly. It lasted a week and it was a VERY long week. We started talking again and being bf and gf and it was going great but somehow my "demons" came back really quick. She couldn't handle it for much more months and decided to terminate what we had. I pleaded with her with all my heart to rethink that decision but she didn't budge. That date was March 31st 2011. I wont ever forget that day in my life. That day my lovely niece Erica was born. So I guess there is always a death when there is a birth.
    To this very day I think of my pooky. I seen her a few times through the break-up and most times she ignored me. Ive made many attempts to speak to her and Ive been shunned for most of them. When she would speak to me she would tell me to move on. She seems so heartless but I guess I damaged her. Its my fault she wont talk to me. Well about four weeks ago she spoke to me and it was really friendly. That was the last time she was nice. I tried to talk to her on facebook but she ignores me. Today I seen her again and she gave me a dirty look for a reason I don't know. I did send her a very nice message telling her I still miss her and what a great person she is about a week ago but I don't see any reason for the dirty look. Well that's life for ya. Im still in love with her and its almost been a year since our break-up and she haunts my dreams and thoughts. Do I mind? Most days I don't. But some days I just hate it. Will I ever move on? Probably not. Will I get into relationships? Of-course but none will ever fill the void she left.
    I left out a lot more details so if anyone is brave enough to read this and want to know more just ask me. I don't bite. Im a real kind hearted guy that in this relationship story lost his way...
                                                                                                                                                                                                                         -Ismael aka HplssRmntc
Daphney1001 Daphney1001 18-21, M 4 Responses Jan 20, 2012

Your Response

Cancel

YEAH IM THIRTEEN THIS WAY TO LONG!!!!!

its for "readers" :)

That was really entertaining and cute! From your sex life to the scene at the park, one thing's for sure, you really know how to rock a girl's world bro. I deeply admire you for being patient and sweet, I hope more guys would be like you. I hope things would have worked out between the two of you. Hopefully you pass through the "moving-on-stage" which is a really painful part of a relationship; One reason I'm scared to get too attached with someone. Anyway, you'll eventually find someone better. I'm sure. :)

lol thank you :). I tried my best. and yeah getting over a terrific person is very hard. still in my dreams. 2 nights ago to be exact D: lol. oh well...

I bet she's going through the same hard time too, probably even worse. You're kinda her first, and women are very emotional at their firsts, you know. Have you checked on her how's she's doing?

I havent. she showed no interest in me. she wanted me to move on. so thats what I did :D. Took her advice..

Trust me, she had a hard time as much as you did. Well, c'est la vie. People come and go, at least she contributed a chapter in you to make your life more colorful. At least now you know your do's and dont's in your next relationship. Good luck! :)

1 More Response

u can write a book ismael..

lol. you think so? I just wanted to tell my most prized story &lt;3

i think i know what you mean. To meet that one person that fits you in all aspects and then to have them reject you. My ex bf was very controlling of me but he was the only person that had cared for me and loved me for who i am. He left me so many times i cant remember how many. His only reason was that he wants to be alone and he dont love me anymore.
I pleaded with him till i have nothing left to give. You cant love someone who cares nothing for you. All you got to do is to carry on and build your life again

I think the right thing to do is tomove on. Keep a hold of him but move on. One day he may come back to you. Itll then be your chance to have the power. Either you can take him back or do as he did and reject him.Im learning to love myself right now. I never loved myself before I was with her. I was too focused on loving her. But now since Im starting to accept me for me,my whole world has brightened up and its wonderful :). It just shows I dont need someone to love me for me to feel good :)

It has been almost a year isnt it. Mine is just one month over, and after my birthday at that...you are right. Good luck then mate.

yup. march 31st will be the one year mark. its coming up so soon. I still remember that day. The feeling of sorrow. The knives that peirced my soul. I can still feel it all. Every word I sayed. Its in my head every single day. I replay it through my thoughts almost every second of the day. Its a reminder not to ever act the way I did. And thank you for the luck :)

2 More Responses

i dont get it..............why you broke up with her? she still loves you by the way..........

she broke up with me. i was too jealous and controlling. i changed throughout the relationship for the worse. i somehow became blind and lost control of my emotions. i fabricated odd scenarios and she couldnt handle it anymore. she broke away from me for her emotional safety

this has been bugging me for a reason I dont know. When you say she still loves me. I have almost no doubt she still loves me. But my thing is the fact shes not "in love with me" and not willing to give it another shot.

you got to accept her freedom.........if you want to accept her freedom and respect it then you say about it to her but you if you dont and have issues, give her and yourself time to settle

Ive been giving her time. Im giving her all the time in the world. so much time she might not even remember I exist at the moment. Im completely out of her life until she makes the first move. Until then we are going our separate ways till we die.

sounds good......and sad at the same time.........either accept her freedom or this is the only option you have got......

2 More Responses