So I went and poured my heart out for two sessions..
guess I've always known why I don't approach people.. (to top it all.. I don't understand what people are saying!!!!) ****! I have a hearing problem.. when it happens, I couldn't understand a thing of what people who talked to me was saying. It sounds gibberish. I asked them to repeat again, and it still sounded gibberish.. On some days I can hear as clear as ever. This applies to everyone I talked to.
How embarrasing it is to gawk like a fish or couldn't reply to a decent conversation.. It frustrates me sooo bad... I asked my psychiatrist once about my hearing problem, but he said it has nothing to do with schizophrenia.. (several times, with full schizo symptoms, I was totally deaf for a while)
She said I know it frustrates you that this happened but it is not a barrier to communication. You can first either explain why you can't hear, and ask them to repeat again.. good advice I suppose..
I thought counselling will be some sort of question and answer session but it almost turn out like my psychiatric session with prof Hamid.. I mean, for both I felt like I'm making a huuhaa out of nothing. But I gotten some introspection from out of it... I mean, HOW can I NOT HEAR properly????
My teacher in high school once said to me that I should get my ears' checked.. scary..
Anyway, I decided not to get further appointments until I start next sem. I don't know what else to say. I might talk crap.. I crapped out a little at the last minute.. geeez..