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Still Bugged Out By Mean Parents

 Wow! for so many years, my parents denied their mental and physical abuse towards us, but in the end, six different people can't be wrong or making up stories. All six of us remember the "bad ole days". We each carry traits and behavioral issues associated w/ our unhappy childhood and we are not close, not even towards each other. We all seem to have trust issues and conditional love. I find it difficult to put up with my own siblings and we all have low tolerance for one another.  I used to think that I would heal if I just learned to accept my parents as "doing the best they could", but I can't get myself to believe it anymore and I keep revisiting those negative thoughts. "You're too stupid" or "You can't do that because you are a girl and girls get raped". That's no way to talk to children. Maybe that's why I chose not to have them - I didn't want to repeat the vicious cycle. My mom still can't admit to taking a hammer to me for accidently dropping food on the kitchen floor when I was trying to walk to the table w/ my plate and got bumped. My father promised to humiliate me if I ever thought to bring home a man to marry me. He said he'd make sure that poor guy was warned how worthless I was. My reply: "Well then, you just won't get to meet him".
foupah foupah 46-50 1 Response Jul 27, 2010

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Luckily for me my siblings and I supported each other as we left our parents to start our lives and have been pretty close ever since as people we can always go to, especially during times of family drama. My parents were manipulative our whole lives growing up and still are to this day, when things get tough they try to manipulate their way out of it rather than work their way out as me and my siblings have. When I was struggling with being a gay man in a rural town desperately trying to get my life together, to go to the closest university, and to find work, all my dad had to say was that I'd never leave their place despite the fact that I lived in their back yard as they couldn't make room for me as I paid them $500 a month for "assistance" that I later found they blew on useless junk and kitchen re-modeling.