I'm So Screwed.

Well first off I'm 16 & a junior in high school. The guy I like is 26 years old, & he's my history teacher. I just like him, I don't say I love him because I don't...I just can't love him. I don't know why I feel this way towards a teacher, it never ran through my head that maybe I could like a teacher. I had him last year for my sophomore year. I didn't really think of him until the end of 1st semester, & that's when I left his class.  Last year in the 10th grade we had to take our writing test. Well everyone got split up in different teachers room, it just depended on what you're last name was. Well out of all the other teachers I got put into his room. After we we're done taking the test my friend & I were talking, minding our own business. Well my teacher came up, completely ignoring my friend & shoved papers in my face. He said, "Look what you're going to have to do next year when you have me" I said "How do you know I'm going to have you?". He just shrugged his shoulders, looked me in the eyes, & smiled at me for awhile. Well guess what?! I have him again this year.  Last week we were in class doing this assignment. I was flipping through my book looking for the answers. He came up behind & started flipping through the pages asking if I knew where something was. I said no. He flipped a few more pages & said oh wait never mind I have a book at my desk. I was like okay. The funny thing was that he was already at his desk looking through his book before he came over to me & looked through mine. It was weird.  There's this guy, Cameron that has a crush on me. I kinda like him, he's a really sweet & nice guy. Well the other day he was walking me to my class. When we got to my class he asked me for a hug, so I have him one. I didn't notice that, that teacher, that I like was standing right there. He gave me a look like someone just punched him in his stomach. I didn't know what to do so I turned around & walked away. I felt so bad, I ended up crying about it for almost 2 hours.  Yesterday we we're taking a test in his class. He called me up to say something. After that I went & sat back down at my desk. He walked up & handed me my test & told me something I did something wrong but he said I probably got confused by something & he made it right. As he was about to leave my desk, I looked up at him & he was staring at me in the eyes, & smiled at me for a few seconds, more than he probably should, then walked off.  There's a ton of other experiences that happened between us but I don't want to write too much. I have no idea what to do. I really like him, a lot. I've liked him for over a year now & I don't know what to do. Every time I see him its like nothing else matter's. When he's class ends & I have to go to my other classes I feel like somethings missing in my heart. He's on my brain 24/7. He drives me so crazy. Someday's I just want to hug him & never let him go. I can't explain how he makes me feel, its like a high feeling I get every time I'm around him. Not the drug high, just the high feeling you get when you're adrenalin is pumping. I just don't know what to do anymore, but something's are better left unsaid.  

This is what happened Thursday morning. . . 

Okay well today my friends & I were standing in the hallway a few feet from my teacher's room. My friends were talking about their crushes. My best friend turned to me & said "Hey do you still have a crush on Mr. So & So. All my other friends turned to me with a shocked face, I even had a shocked face. I said "Wait what?! NO!" "Eww, gosh he's my teacher! NO!" Even though I do really like him, but they didn't know that. My best friend didn't buy it, I was like **** I'm so screwed. So I said "Yes, but its not like anything is ever going to happen between so there's no point in even trying."

Well I turned around to find Mr. So & So standing right behind me. His eyes were huge & his mouth was dropped opened, he just stood there shocked. I just stood there shocked. I couldn't think straight. I tried to say something, but nothing was coming out of my mouth. He just kept looking at me with a shocked expression. I just turned around & walked away. I wanted to just go as far away as I could from him right then. My friend that ran her big mouth apologized to me a billion times, saying she honestly didn't know he was standing there. But now he knows that I like him & I'm frigging screwed. In class today I tried avoided eye contact with him, but he still would stare at me. 
I don't know what to do, I'm confused, scared, & upset :(
JustTheWayYouAre JustTheWayYouAre
18-21, F
11 Responses Sep 18, 2010

Same thing happened to me , I know how you feel , my crush is 27 years old ! He stares at me a lot even when I change my seat he would come over or behind me he is attracted to me. , my teacher crush gives the best marks !

I bet you'll get a great grade for that class lol

O.o ur together ?? How cute :) hope it works out for you and good luck .

Wow that is amazing!! This is literally my dream! You're such a lucky girl... Go after class and say you need help on something when no ones there and it'll work out perfectly!!! Best of luck!

isnt that illegal? by law a high school student isnt allowed to have a relationship with their teacher unless it has been 12 months since the student left the school.. and considering you were 17 when you got together i doubt you would have left for the right amount of time needed for it to be legal..

Your story is one of my favorites. What happened between you two? It is difficult with age differences.

Yeah we did, we're still together actually. I write blogs now. (: You can check them out if you'd like.

Well I'm 17 now & we're together. It's pretty crazy.

hummm its all true love at 16, trust me you'll get over it

Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Lol

wow. I had a crush on my Geography teacher, but it was nothing like this.