Art Teacher Mr. C

I wouldn't say I have a crush on him exactly, but I do feel slightly attracted to him, and I think he liked me too.

In appearance he was about 5'11, slim and with a straight ruler figure. He was a darker blonde, and he had really intense but clear blue eyes -a mix of cobalt blue and acquamarine - they look like lake-water when the sun hits it on the surface. He always wore jeans and converse shoes, with a button down top. The time I knew him was when he was 30-31, and I was 14-15.

While his looks were definitely helped, it was his personality and the way we interacted that made me develop feelings for him. We started off being really distant. I didn't like him much, as I have a slight fear of men in general (bad things happened to me when I was young, so I am not trusting. I still freeze if I am alone with a guy in a room....ugh.) However while he was strict with everyone, and harsh to most students in general, he was very kind to me. He always smiled, not in a creepy way, held the door for me and said hello. He always helped me out when I needed it. However the most amazing thing about him was the way he could always make me laugh. We really hit it off, as we discovered we had the same humour and everything. He found everything said to be genuinely funny, and said I had a wonderful dry sense of humour. Have you ever had someone with whom you can't help but be happy, and the two of you are laughing nonstop? That's what we were.

I think I started liking him and he started liking me more in the second year he taught me. I am not sure how to explain how I know this is true. I could feel it. The way he looked into my eyes very deepy. How he was always very sensitive to my feelings. He was always ready to give me help or advice. There's this happiness, but also this tension, because we both know the boundaries and both of us are sensible people. He always paid special attention to me, and always complimented me. Our conversations became very deep. We talked about everything - school work, family problems, even relationships and marraige! He is the only person who has told me what he honestly thinks of me, the good and the bad. He gave me a lot of self confidence, and I have a lot to thank him for. Plus he was a fantastic art teacher.

When my mom told him I was changing schools, he cried. There were tears running down his face. It was so touching. During my last days at the school, we always went in the storage room to talk. He begged me to stay, and asked me to reconsider. Whether it was really my choice to move, and whether it was the best decision for me. I will never forget his face, it was so touching, so heart-wrenching. Those eyes and those tears, I really do think he was attached to me. How do I know? Because he was a cold man in general. When my friend left, he had no reaction. It was just me. When the final moment to say goodbye came, my other teacher shook my hand, and when it was his turn, he shook my hand too. He was looking at me so intensely. He pulled me in for a hug. I was so shocked, since he is not a touchy guy, but very formal. He told me I was wise beyond my years, and that would serve me well. That he would miss me, there would be a huge gap in his classroom all the way until graduation, he would miss my dry humour, and my artwork, but that he wished me the best, even though he still could not believe I was leaving.

I was, and still am attached to him, but I had a much easier time moving on. He still emails me once in a blue moon, but I have always given him terse responses because my parents watch my mail. I miss him, and I know if I ever get the chance to be around him again I will. However right now, it hurts too much, so I cannot continue my acquaitnace with him. In a way I regret it, but he has just gotten married, and I think it is time to let go.
rainecheng rainecheng
Sep 17, 2012