The Awkward and the ObviousFirst off, I'm 13, and he's 44. He has kids and one of them is a boy in my grade and I always thought about trying to switch to him, but it's so hard because I don't like his son's personality. I know about the laws involved in this, but come on I'm not stupid enough to do anything. I can barely look in his eyes, so honestly.
There is also this one boy in the same class as me who stares at me constantly. He has long blonde hair and he's kind of chubby, not saying names but I think you understand that I don't even like his personality, and I've been told he's a pervert. Lately though another group of guy friends are working on a project with him, so I decided to join ( only female ) and apparently its more than obvious he has a crush on me. He gave me wind-chimes ( wind-chimes? ) the other day telling me their called after my name. Its obvious. Lets call him, Pnącze.
So my teacher, ( lets call him Mr. Lenzi ) is extremely social, aware of everything, keeps his cool and never yells, absolutely hilarious, and has the broadest chin and nicest figure if you don't mind me saying. Even without my glasses I can see his blue eyes gaze the students in the room. Very times he looks at me, we catch each others gazes and suddenly I start blushing so I look away. I'm not accusing him of having a crush on me, no I'm not being stereotypical because he shows signs of 'respect'. I've seen him catch male student's in the eye too, but its just special to me when its my turn, because it really feels like I have a bond with him, even if I don't.
So lets begin my story now that you have a bit of background . Mr. Lenzi was being goofy and funny as usual, and I could feel the stare of my secret admirer burning holes into my head. I look over to him, and see him smile and I quickly look away, trying to avoid his kindness. I don't have a crush on someone I'm working with. Honestly this boy never gives up. Suddenly with my anger gathering up, I really started to feel uncomfortable with him staring at me. I started to fidget and I thought to myself, "Ugh, I really want to go home even if this is my favorite class. I know he is trying to be secretive, but take a hint."
Mr.Lenzi is currently reviewing our homework, and Pnącze isn't paying attention. I look up towards the teacher, and he watches quickly after he finished talking over to me fidgeting with my legs. He turns over to Pnącze and tells him to pay attention, and my cheeks started to burn a bit. Now I was blushing and making awkward poses. As much as I feel better because Mr. Lenzi shut him down, and he wasn't looking at me anymore, I felt even more awkward because of my body's reactions, and that now everyone was looking at me.
Then, as he continued to talk, I suddenly remember bits of my past, which are quite abusive. Not much information was needed, but I was shy and quiet because of my past, so I ended up looking at the ceiling a lot. Suddenly I look down, and I see the teacher glancing over to me, curious. I look away again, because by now you could cook an egg on my face it was steaming embarrassment. A cool breeze then drifted in the room. I shivered and came back to my senses. I said to myself, "Get a hold of yourself woman, he's going to notice you like him instantly if you keep this up. Just think about something you hate, like Pnącze for example when you look at him. Then your eyes wont give you away."
I took a deep breath, and looked straight at Mr.Lenzi with the blank ex
The staring sensations were back. I looked over, but Pnącze wasn't looking at me. Stopping, in nervousness, I brought up the worse case scenario. Mr. Lenzi wasn't in front of the class, but he was at the other side of the room, looking at my neck.
I looked over, and he caught me looking at him. He didn't look away. No, he stood there, while everyone else was looking down reading the chapter, fancying my neck. I started to think of things I hated, and as much as I enjoy praise I don't like when someone picks me out like how that one guy did. I gave him a death glare, and my eyes frolicked to my book. Still, my neck didn't let go of this feeling, it was still happening.
After a minute or so, he walked over to his computer, and put notes up on the screen. I don't have my glasses, and I'm still looking for them till this day. I could barely see anything on the screen, because he kept correcting himself and the more he added on the page, the more the font got smaller. I felt like he was doing this on purpose but I really can't be sure at all. I squinted and I kept quiet due to my shyness. Then he said, "Would you like to move up front?" I quickly jerked my head, to see Mr.Lenzi leaning far over the desk in front of me. There was a student in that desk, and they were rather small, but it still was a rude and remarkable gesture.
I look around, and I didn't see any desks up front. I nodded my head no, but he kept insisting. I said no solidly, and I was completely ignored precisely at all cost. Then I saw it, the small tan desk in the corner of the room. It didn't have a chair attached to it like other desk, and the only chair was the teacher's spinning seat...
I thought, "No way, this is too much for a couple of notes." It didn't matter. He pulled up the desk making a rough noise on the floor. He took his chair and lowered it. He laid his arms out, and hit the desk twice and said, "Here ya go!" forcing me to bring my stuff to the front of the class. Everyone again was looking at my back. I didn't want to be up front, and I didn't want to be in an open view for him and Pnącze openly to sight-see. I didn't like this, that fact my dark blonde hair was sun-kissed as ever, and my brown eyes were amber in the projector light. I didn't like this feeling of being in the spotlight. I wanted to run, but I had to take the notes first.
Yeah I did have a crush on this teacher, but I didn't want to make a fool of myself and I didn't want my friends and the class to get a bad idea. I took the notes, I almost moved back but my friend told me to stay there just in case, and I suffered more stares then ever. The teacher got up again after a few minutes of leaning, and walked around the front of his room. He kept passing my desk by an inch, and touched it a few times, having to go around me to get his map. Mr. Lenzi knows his room after 19 years, and why would he put a desk here if this big map was going to have to face this as an obstacle. I think he knew what he was doing, but I could be wrong.
Then class was over before I knew it. Pnącze ran right up to me and chatted like mad, awkwardly. I'm shy and quiet so I'm not good at small talk at all. I hide my face, trying to come up with excuses to walk away, but I just wouldn't. I didn't know for sure if he had a crush on me, ~ I didn't want to call him out for something i'm not sure of exactly.
Then Mr.Lenzi asked him to come over for a second, and I made a dash for it thanking him under my breath hesitantly. Still, when the class is over we still bump into each other, Lenzi and I. Teachers are hall monitors, and my locker is right at the fork where he stands. Oh well.
My awkward days will continue but I can't say I can magically become un-attracted to him. He isn't exactly a creeper either for helping me out as a student, but it really stood out because he was staring at my neck. Its just our nature I guess, but I still have Pnącze to deal with too. Well wish me luck is all I can ask. If you have an issue where your teacher has a crush on you, try to understand it more before you tell someone, because if they don't they can still loose their job by you telling on them. If you have a crush on a teacher, try sharing it with a few friends to see if they relate and try to control it like I did a bit. You might have a better chance if your not shy, but hey its just life in action I guess.
ixchelll 13-15 1 Response 1 Dec 6, 2012