It Was Hard...

I spent 11 months with no sleep.
I say no sleep, when I actually got around 30 minutes every other day,
my mind was constantly moving,
making lists,
creating stories...
I could never shut it up.
This caused my lack of sleep.
It started around the time we got mice in the house,
this sounds like a fair enough reason to not sleep...
When we got rid of them... my mind would still be bashing side to side, like it was trying to escape my brain.
I would write down, draw, and even paint (and If you saw my drawings, you'd realize that It's not a good idea :P)
but nothing would shut it up.
I began getting depressed, I would put on a mask to cover up my depression, and walk around, seeming happier then ever.
But really, I was considering how to take my life.
Around Christmas, I went on holiday for a week, and it was 11 at night, and I snapped.
Everyone went to bed, and I stood outside in the snow, crying, in my jammies and a jumper, it must of been minus 2 outside, but I didn't care.
I opened my phone, and called one guy, who was 5 years older then me, and was probably asleep, but he answered and listened to my problems until 2 in the morning, then when I mentioned I was outside he shouted at me (not exactly the best thing to do to a suicidal teenage) and told me to go inside.
But, for some reason, I did. I grabbed the laptop and talked to him until 3 in the morning over the internet.
For the rest of the holiday, I kept him up for as long as I could, before he was so tired, he had to sleep.
And, for some reason, talking to someone who stayed up with me, made it a little better, I began falling asleep every night that week, from 30 mintues, to an hour, to an hour and a bit etc.
Then, it was the end of the Christmas holidays, and he had to go back to work, and me school.
It started getting worse again.
I visited doctors, got diagnosed as depressed, and sent to see a therapist.
I must of drove her mad.
But... as I started talking more to this boy, the more I slept.
There were on and off days, where I'd sleep up to 4 hours a night, and times where I'd be awake 3 day's straight.
Early January, me and this boy started dating, he'd come over to mine, and stay until I was asleep.
Sometimes he'd stay awake all night with me, even though he had work the next day.
Now it's august. It's been over a year since I was diagnosed with Insomnia and depression.
With a lot of help from my boyfriend, family, doctors, and my therapist.
I have beat it.


LittleOwl1 LittleOwl1
18-21, F
Aug 12, 2010