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Not Unhappily Ever After

There is a difference between being raped for the purposes of destroying you ... and being raped to capture you. Though, I suppose the latter does destroy something in you, too. I've been raped both ways, and the first one is horrible and unspeakable. A person who does that has no right to still be alive; castration is too kind a punishment.

But in the latter case, he can't help himself, maybe out of more than simple lust. He does it with a desire to possess. He doesn't leave me to die or be found by someone else -- he keeps me and ***** me over and over, no matter how much I resist and beg and cry. He ***** me because he needs to, but he also does it because his **** is the key to unlocking me. I'm just a particularly difficult portal.

I have always been adverse to commitment and long-term relationships. The thrill of falling in love/lust and the first few couplings fades, and I had chosen to stay at liberty to feel the rush of new couplings. But now and again, there have been obsessive, possessive men who have refused to take "no" as a possible answer to their demands.

Maybe it's me ... maybe I present a certain type of challenge to a certain type of man. Some men love to pursue, and lose interest once they've caught the girl. I guess I'm like that too, so I can't blame them for being like this. It suits me to be with such a man, because by the time he's ready to move on, I am, too.

But for some men, once they've caught the girl, they consider her their possession, and will work like hell to make sure the dumb ***** understands that. For an idiot **** like me, that means being ****** repeatedly into a sort of nervous submission.

Some of the men attempt to force me into a longer-term relationship, and though over time I'd developed a kind of skittish nervousness as a relationship matures and evolves, some men like it ... because it means they get the chance to rape some sense into me (as one man put it). I've been kidnapped and held in a remote place and raped repeatedly till I was too exhausted to resist anymore. In a way, I respected his persistence and desires.

But especially, I grew to crave the explosive ******* that this type of sexual obsession produces in me. Being held against my will, being hurt and wounded against my will, it's a sort of erotic sickness. I don't crave a cure, and I quickly grow addicted to being raped, and I can't tell if I'm being contrary, or if I am genuinely resisting.

Being told that I'm going to be possessed like a wild animal, being called dirty names, being forced to answer if I should be spanked, or made to choose between him dumping his *** into my unprotected ***** or being ***-raped ... they make me *** with wild abandon. Ashamed and humiliated at needing to be subjugated as a piece of tamed fuckmeat is the most erotic experience. I can't live without it -- it's really the ultimate mindfuck!

This kind of rape -- I'm unsure if it's really rape, since I crave it so badly. Ultimately, one man succeeded in forcing me to the altar -- a civil service in a city neither of us had ever lived in, and I am still legally bound to him. I struggled for years to escape him, but he kept me lustful and possessed ... and now we're decades into this thing called marriage. Not that it's been a happy-ever-after ... it's still a strong lust! And I am not at all unhappy.

He notes that I like persistent, aggressive men who enjoy forcing their ***** into me. Well, he should know better than anyone else I ****, right? That's what he gets for needing a wild, untamable ****; he deserves me!
auroramaru auroramaru 46-50, F 23 Responses Mar 17, 2011

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I can partly understand your addiction to the feelings of lust and rape! Simply because I have walked with my own wife , and later friends, then our three daughters, as they became by choice addicted, totally completely addicted, to their *******. (See my confessions for some background).
They can do nothing but seek out their next ******* - you seem similar in needing to seek out your next time of being overwhelmed by male lust in whatever form!
I can see so clearly that this IS really you! You need frequent times of being overwhelmed by male desires for your body!
Many of us are similarly overwhelmed. I myself am overcome often by a desire to change (modify) my body - my wife as well as her ******* is likewise! So to most people we appear weird! Pierced all over, tattooed 100%, bits enhanced or removed etc.. But being able to fulfil these urges we are happy and fulfilled.
Just as you are needing males!

Oh my... I can barely get around the concept. I think I'm in for breaking and entering your cage ;-) risking ofcourse the owner of the caves walks in at the 'right' time!

Interesting

elbuan, then that's probably the real "us" :)

bighank, things change, but even so, i'm still caged. ;)

mmm what a wonderful story and you tell it so well your an untamed hot ****. and he wanted one and fond one worth keeping. only the future can tell if he will be able to keep his untamed hot **** under lock and key. im sure there are many men that would like to have the chance to capture and hold a untamable hot ****. I no im up for the challenge.

urbanrocker, sometimes it takes time, as well as luck and determination. and also openmindedness -- one's dream prince really does resemble a frog, sometimes.

This type of relationship is absolutely everything I have always desired, down to being captured. No less and no more. Thank you for making me see I am certainly not alone or some kind of anomaly.

silkcherie, would that sex could always be like this! ;) but i guess that it isn't -- that's what makes this so special?

Um... Yes... I'll have what she's having! ^_^

fantasticfantasy, despite oscar wilde's elegant pronouncement of "the love that dares not speak its name," homosexuality is nothing compared to the need to be violently subjugated in a sexual context. just talking about it could get a person into serious trouble. bet you wondered why that schoolgirl was out so late? are you sure she was a schoolgirl? ;) thank you for enjoying the "dissertation," -- a nice way to say, "you're a crazy *****, open up!"

mrmeauggie, time to make another movie with K, perhaps! happy explosions!

Tsk, what's going on mrmeauggie?

Mrmeauggie, I recall the first time I was "treated" with flexol... Yowch! And addictive ...

mrmeauggie, i hope you have anti-bug spray. it's slippery and tingly, too!

Wasananny, for the right man, the shame and humiliation of being forced to display our desire is an aphrodisiac and this his depraved mind will seek to rape even when we would give it willingly. Well, sort of willingly!

olddom, don't be silly. haven't you ever dated in school? ;)

niplover, thanks -- i'm glad i passed the test! :)

Thank you, you were able to communicate it in a way that I can comprehend. <br />
appreciate it

niplover, it depends how one defines ******. the author of "the female brain" says that women only ****** if they are relaxed, have time, AND they perceive the man of being attractive. meaning, it's hard to ****** without pleasure. however, since i do suffer from being a painslut and am into rape fantasies, if it goes on long enough, my mind can switch. i've heard this is a protective mechanism, like lubricating upon invasion to lessen the harm to my body. but in reality, I simply end of wanting it to be over. fran drescher wrote of being raped, and she followed the advice of a program she'd watched about rape, memorizing his features so that he could be brought to justice later. part of you wants to be in denial, but if you can overcome the desire not to participate, you can prevent your participation by making sure you have all the facts straight. of course, there is the risk of being in more danger if you don't do what he wants or expects you to do. as ms drescher is an actress, i assume she did what she had to do to get out alive and healthy.

jonathanjoan, even ***** have human rights ... they just don't tend to believe it's rape when the reputation preceeds us ... or perhaps if she's ****** someone else of power in the courtroom before. ;)

wow, so women really can *** from rape? But only the latter, not the former, am I reading that correctly? I've never been sure if thats an invention of (male) fiction writers. <br />
I also find it fascinating and invigorating that the human spirit can suffer both forms of assault and still retain (or is it regain) such a full sensuality

How true...why bother asking...when both you and the guy know yourself to be a ****;)