First Experice

I had my first experience yesterday. It's not what I wanted or even thought what it was going to b. I told myself that I was going to save myself for a woman that i was committed to. I always wanted to b sober my first time. That night I went out with a friend. She has been with girls n I've shared how I'm struggling with my sexuality with her. She has told me before that she was attracted to me n wanted to b fisical. Im not set up for casual sex really n I wanted my first time to b with a partner. So she would hint at things n kissed me a couple of times. Ive been thinking bout it a long time n last night I went to tell her goodnight n she started kissing me n one thing led to another. I won't get too graphic but she went down on me. I did not get to do anything to her. In the middle of us fooling around she got a text message n said that a guy that she was talking to was coming over n I we had to stop. Wtf??? I thought that was what she wanted n she took off my clothes I didn't force her into anything. It was my first time n she was pushing me aside so she could get laid by sum dude. So I went into the living room n slept on the couch bc I wasn't sober enough to drive yet. He came over n he spent the night in her room. I feel very cheap n dirty. I understand that what her n I did was just sexual but I never want to b pushed aside like an object. I think it was a mistake. From a sexual stand point it felt good, but it didn't feel right. I'm hoping my next experience is better:)
Jbar86 Jbar86
1 Response May 6, 2012

im sorry to hear that i fooled around a lil but didnt feel it was my first time until i got to touch a woman for the first time then it was just completely natural and i forgot about everything that was going on around me and lost track of time she is obviouslynot worth your patient the right person will come around..:)