Finally.

I am currently in highschool and my first lesbian experience was not expected...It began when I was moved household to household. My mom had been attending college and trying to find a stable job. I stayed with uncles,aunts, and grandparents and I never fit in. I was molested by an older cousin repeatedly and never had the strength to tell a member...this is my first time talking about this but anyway. I never looked at men the same, if they treat me like this why do I need them in my life? I began to become a lot more attached to women and then had an obsession and loved to look no matter what shape nor size. 5th grade came around and I was finally able to move with my mom but sadly we moved constantly and I never had a stable friendship. We eventually found a place to move and I moved away from all family so my mom and I were alone in Texas! I had no friends until I joined band, I then gained many friends and noticed this cute Mexican guy and became instant friends. We talked about everything and I noticed a girl alone and she was pretty darn good looking she was in percussion and I played the Bari sax so we both played boyish instruments our freshman year. In the stands we sit by each other, we did this EVERY football game. Then one day I realized I had friends and felt appreciated I was able to talk normally and appreciate her. She then called me her best friend towards other people and I almost cried it was so special because I never got to know anyone that well. Then one day something sparked in my head. The night of the game we were retiring to another victory and we had to change we walked in the band hall and I saw her take off her uniform and took down her bun, She shook her head and I lost my mind. I caught my self staring and nearly fell down she laughed and all I could do was smile and wink. Then our team had a very far game and we were joking about guys and then she made a friendly insult and I hit her on the shoulder and said exactly "You're the second best". She then replied " Who's first, if I'm not the greatest?" And I blushed God how embarrassing and I couldn't say a thing. Later in the week I walk in the band hall early in the morning and she is the only person there. I wasn't having the best week because my dad decided to come back into my life over Facebook but my mom didn't know so I was holding in secrets and finally dealing with my sexual identity. It was hard because I come from a religious family and homosexuality is a no no. I sit next to her and she notices me upset and she asks whats wrong? I tell her everything except for me being a lesbian. We walk into the bathroom to talk since more people were coming in and while she was talking I stared at her, and took off her glasses. She asked " What are you doing? I just got those last week!" I told her shut up and pulled her hair back and gave her a kiss. She was shocked and lounged back immediately she yelled "What are you doing!? Is something wrong with you? Thats disgusting!" And she ran out with all of her things. I felt wrong and was hurt until she returned and threw my stuff down and kissed me harder than before, she took off my glasses and began kissing my neck and lips and I pushed her against the wall kissing her more and more. She stopped after the last kiss and whispered " Some one else is in here..... I only said that so that no one would catch on. I've been waiting for you to do that since the 2nd week I knew you. You've been through a lot of things and I want you to know you're not alone." She kissed me and grabbed my butt and said "See ya later chocolate kisses". As a silent whisper and I told her " Bye marshmellow", in the same tone. That was my first experience and we haven't been able to come out since our freshmen year, we date guys but we still have our "encounters", we feel that after we graduate we'll be able to come out but...we don't have the guts!
JHLAG JHLAG
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 21, 2013

So... It is true what they say about Band Camp.